I always wondered when I would be old. Would I just wake up one day and be like, "This is it! I'm now old! Woohoo! Bring on the five p.m. dinners and the chin hair!"
Today I answered that question.
I received three signs from above that mark my new age-related realization.
Sign #1:
This past weekend I upgraded our internet. The boys always complain about how bad it is, and I usually just tell them to stop being whiners. Kids are starving in Africa and they complain about internet. Pshaw! I don't want to hear it!
Last weekend we were all sitting in the living room together and I defiantly logged into our Suddenlink account while preaching about how we pay for fast internet and their expectations are ridiculous and they are spoiled and need to hush.
It was then that I discovered that we pay for the second-to-the-bottom slowest internet available. Oops. I don't want to say I was wrong, but...
I upgraded for a little bit extra.
Then my tech friend came by the house yesterday to set me up to truly be able to work from home, and as a program downloaded we chatted. He said our internet seemed slow. I told him that the boys complain about it all the time but I think it's fine. He tested it, and said it was really bad. He inquired about our modem and such and made some recommendations. I ordered a new modem/router combo online at Best Buy, then picked it up this morning. Now more than ever we need solid internet while we work and school from home all day.
Sidebar: At Best Buy I ordered online, pulled into a parking spot, a person came out and looked at my ID, then brought me my stuff. It was easy and socially distant.
Back to the story:
I spent TWO AND A HALF HOURS on the phone with Suddenlink to get it activated. That's a whole other post, but let's just say it was not simple.
While I was on hold, Tucker came in and started researching the fancy new internet he would have access to, and in the course of his studies informed me that the new modem I was working so hard to activate has exactly the same capacity as the one I was replacing. Exactly. Basically I was doing NOTHING. Like a technologically old person.
I may have said out loud, "I hate everything right now!"
(Later we realized that our router capacity was terrible, so the combo thing I bought actually has improved our internet a great deal. Jokes on you, little teenage tech genius.)
Sign #2:
I only talk on speakerphone now. All of my work related calls (and helpdesk related calls such as being on the phone with Suddenlink for four hours) are on my cell phone, and it's not comfortable to be on my phone that much. The phone up to my ear just makes me hot and I can't hear well and I need to type on my computer while I'm talking anyway.
Think of the old people you know - they love the ol' speakerphone, don't they? Well, I'm them. Speakerphone only for me. You spring chickies can keep holding that thing up to your ear all you want. I'm not doing it.
Sign #3:
I drive a maroon Honda Pilot. There happen to be many of these vehicles in College Station. In fact, once I walked out of HEB to my car and a lady walked up to me to apologize for putting her groceries in my car - she thought it was hers.
(I probably left my car unlocked that day, so don't tell Trey this story.)
Anyway, today I needed to run to the store. Of course I waited until just before a storm rolled in this evening before I got around to it. (Did I mention I was on the phone with Suddenlink for five hours?). When I came out it was pouring and cold. I ran full speed, straight to my car and reached for the handle.
It didn't open.
I moved my purse closer (I have one of those things where if my key is on me the door will unlock), jiggled the handle. Nothing. I was getting soaked. What on earth could be happening?
I tried again. Started digging for my key in my purse, shivering in the cold rain. And then, out of the corner of my eye, two spaces over, I saw a maroon Honda Pilot.
I was working very hard to get into someone else's car.
And so, dear friends, as a result of these three signs I officially declare myself old. I have the olds. I came down with it today, never to turn back. It's 7:30 now so I have to sign off so I can put on my nightgown and take out my teeth and head to bed. It was exhausting to spend six hours today on the phone with Suddenlink. See you in the morning. I'll probably wake up at 4:30 to yell at the clouds.
The end.
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