I blogged one time in 2018. ONE TIME.
Well, now two.
Do the cool kids even blog anymore?
I started this blog to document my kids' hilarity. I wanted to remember the silly little day-to-day things, and keeping a baby book was never really my thing. Then my kids got older and stopped appreciating that I shared personal stories about them with the world. (They should really appreciate their internet fame a little more. You're welcome, Hickman boys.)
Then in 2015 the profile of my job changed, and I felt (and still feel) a vast responsibility to represent myself in a certain way (a way that doesn't include occasional bad words and wine).
These things inhibited me as a writer. But I miss it. So what follows is probably going to be a rambling, too long post about nothing.
Not Seinfeld nothing. More nothing than that.
I've only run off and on this year. Yesterday I ran three miles. Don't get excited - it was three slow miles accomplished with a 2/1 interval. It was a perfect Texas December day at 60 degrees and sunny with a slight breeze, and it reminded me how much I love to run.
I marveled at how amazing God made people. My knees screamed for the first three or four minutes, and then I settled in and did some serious marveling. I did my best to remember the prayer that Chris Field prayed before the marathon I ran in 2016. All I could really come up with was how he thanked God for our bodies that can run and our lungs that can breathe. I went back to my marathon post, but I didn't write that part down. If anyone knows Chris and he has a copy of that prayer to share, send it my way. It's one of the most memorable prayers of my life.
This caused me to remember the song "Great Are You Lord" by Casting Crowns that God sent to me via Pandora at about mile 23 of the marathon. (Props to Pandora for doing God's work.) It's apparently a pretty well known song, but I had not heard it before then. I pulled it up on my Amazon Music (because Amazon can do God's work, too), and I ran and I sang in my heart and I marveled some more.
Insert segue way here. (In my brain I'm saying, "I sure hope I spelled that right.")
I can be a little anxious. I often worry about things that are ridiculous. For example, a few years ago a teacher wanted to arrange for a helicopter to come to school, and all I could think about was the helicopter chopping off a child's arm. Y'all. This makes no sense. But I saw it happen to Dr. Romano on ER when I was in college, so I guess I just can't let it go.
I suppose I should note that I LOVE to watch Criminal Minds, and I'm not worried at all that someone will murder me and feed my body to pigs and put my shoes in a trash can so that the police can solve the mystery. I guess I'm selective about my crazy.
It's Christmas break, and I'm off work, and my crazy can go, well, crazy when I'm not occupied. Running yesterday reminded me that when I focus on the wrong things, that's when I feel anxious. Then I saw this thing on facebook (that I cannot find again to save my life), and it said something like how you're feeling may indicate whether God is leading you or just following behind carrying your bags. I was all "Oh. That's pretty legit. That is so me." (If one of you finds that quote, hook a girl up.)
Insert another hopefully-spelled-right segue way.
I reflected on the year I learned how to quilt and then made like a hundred of them (2014). The year I decided to become a runner (2015). The year I decided to run a flipping marathon (2016). The year I read the whole New Testament and Psalms and Proverbs (2017, I think).
Then I thought about 2019. What should be my thing? Do I need a thing? Maybe I should run and blog and quilt and pray more and scroll less. I spend a lot of time scrolling through nothing. It doesn't make me better. I've frequently considered my doctorate lately. Maybe that's the thing. It will likely require a great deal of running and prayer for stress relief!
To Summarize: Blogging. Running. Marveling. Anxiety. Doing big things.
Happy Almost 2019. Let's do it right.