Friday, January 15, 2010

More about boys...

#1: On Wednesday I received a phone call from Keaton's preschool teacher. He had been vomiting, and I needed to come get him right away. So I rushed to his school, and carried a peaked looking little boy to the car, mentally preparing for a stomach virus to ravage our home. A very short while later, when he seemed to be feeling much better, I asked him why he threw up. This is his response:

"Well, momma, we went to the libary, then we ate lunch, and then we went outside. I played on the merry-go-round, like, the WHOLE TIME. And we were going SO FAST around and around and around you know! Then we came inside to wash our hands, and I threw up."

Stomach virus averted. We had a conversation the next morning about how if you're on the merry-go-round and your tummy feels funny, you should get off.

#2: The classic country radio station Trey and I often listen has created even more fun with the kids. It makes me happy to hear Keaton croon "I Love a Rainy Night" and sing along to Ronnie Milsap tunes. This particular station loves Linda Ronstadt, and I mean they LOVE her. On the way home today Keaton shouted "turn it up!" when "It's So Easy to Fall in Love Came On." Apparently he likes her, too.

It took about one and one-half choruses for the song to turn into "It's So Easy to Fart" followed by roaring laughter. Thanks, Tucker.

#3: Overheard from my place on the couch while the boys played in my room.
Tucker: Are we going to get in trouble?
Keaton: Hey. Whose birthday is tomorrow? Yours. So who's in charge? YOU ARE!

I did a little correction on that, as well.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Why you shouldn't watch "Half Ton Dad"

I was relaxing on the couch on New Year's Day, thinking I should go to the gym, watching "Half Ton Teen" on The Learning Channel. I love watching other people and their problems, including "Half Ton Dad," "Hoarders," and "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant," my personal favorite and great fodder for E's "The Soup" (perhaps the funniest show on tv).

Anyway, I was watching the half ton teen whine because he wanted some chocolate milk or something while his mom cried because all she wanted to do was give him chocolate milk, not kill him with chocolate milk, and Tucker came in from outside. He asked what I was watching, and I explained the premise of the show. He sat down with me and watched the last five minutes, and was still sitting there when "Half Ton Dad" began. In the teaser for the show, there was a surgery where they literally cut off seventy pounds of a guy's stomach. This was both riveting and disgusting, and I watched until Trey came in and said "I don't think I can watch this."

Honestly, I don't enjoy watching surgeries either, but some secret part of me believes that if one of the boys wants to be a doctor he needs to not have a weak stomach, so I try to act like hacking off a person's stomach, etc., is not a big deal.

If either of them is a surgeon, however, it will definitely be Keaton. Tucker gets all squirmy with shots, and I see Keaton as much more likely to say, "Sure! I'd love to cut you open and move some things around to see if it makes you feel better! Hop up on the table, dude, and let's get started!"

I digress.

After the stomach-hacking-off, Tucker crinkled his face all up at the gross-ness, and then said, "Mom, have you ever had your stomach cut open?"

Me: No way!
Tucker: Never? You've never had your stomach cut open?
Me: Nope, and I hope I never have to.
Tucker: The doctor didn't cut it open to get me and Keaton out?
Me (seeing where this is going):
Tucker: Then how did we get out?

Now I've had this conversation with Tucker in my head before, and I've always known I would just be very clinical in my explanations. I wondered why I hadn't yet ordered a book to keep for this moment, knowing I could just give him the book and answer any questions he comes up with, praying that he doesn't google anything.

But I wasn't daunted by my lack of book. He likes facts, and I knew I could give him the facts in a mature way and be done with this uncomfortable conversation. I channeled a friend or two who actually uses the scientific terms to identify body parts, and got ready for a conversation that would be simple for him but well, sweaty for me.

And then I looked at Trey, who wasn't listening. A little desperate, I said, "Trey, Tucker just asked if they had to cut my stomach open to get him and Keaton out."

I'm pretty sure his response was a grunt and a head turn in the other direction. I could hear him saying in his head, "He asked you, so good luck!"

I worked myself up to look all nonchalant and I went over scientific names for body parts in my head, and then I jumped in.

Me: Do you really want to know because it's kind of gross.
Tucker:Yeah, tell me.
Me: Okay, you know how girls and boys have different body parts down there?
Tucker: Yeah.
Me: Well, babies come out of the girl parts.
Tucker: Really?
Me: Yep
Tucker: Are they all bloody and stuff?
Me: Yep
Tucker: Yeah, that is gross.

And there you have it. The highlights of my anatomically correct, mature conversation about childbirth was highlighted with the words "gross," "girl parts," and "down there." I hope I haven't traumatized him forever.

I hope I've traumatized him enough to ask his dad next time.

Friday, January 1, 2010

A New Years Meditation

First, I must admit that I pilfered this from an email my parents' pastor sent out a couple of days ago to the members of First Baptist Church of Rice. He borrowed this (and properly attributed it to) an article titled "Everything Can Change this New Year" by Travis Plumb. It's a good reminder for all of us to begin each day in the right place. I'll just quip "I couldn't have said it better myself" and then let you know this is an abridged version (I can't turn off my internal editor even on someone else's work). ;)

"Did you know that anything and everything can change for you this new year? It doesn’t matter if things have been going bad for you lately, Scripture tells us God is able to do anything and all things. (Phil. 4:13) Nothing is too hard for Him. (Jer. 32:17) Seeking God’s help can cause all kinds of changes for the better in your life. You just have to believe — not in a fantasy like a Santa, but in a reality like the God of the universe; not trusting your future to dumb luck like in a lottery, but trusting your future to an Almighty God who holds the future in His hands.
God has a very specific plan for every human on earth; and it is for good, not for evil. It is to give you hope and a future. (Jer. 29:11) God loves you. He cares totally about your well-being, so get in on His plan for your life! You can conquer
anything with God.

Once you are a Christian, you don’t just cope with your stress and manage your anger. In all of these things, you are more than a conqueror through Him who loved you. (Rom. 8:37) But this is not a magic kingdom; that is in Florida. This is the Kingdom of Christ, and in this kingdom He desires for you to “do” (Phil. 4:9).

Don’t wait around for a miracle to be dumped into your lap while you watch your favorite reality show. Get up, start serving, praying, praising and watch your very own show come to reality. God will do miracles in your life. Believe it!

Last night ended at midnight and today is a whole new day. You have to wake up every morning and see the potential of a living God who can do all things through you and for you. Yesterday or last week might have been painful, disappointing, hurtful or just plain yucky. But the worst thing we can do is to sit around contemplating what a miserable, hard time we are having. It will never change unless you change your mental attitude.

Everybody in this life is going to have troubles. That is the reality of living in a sinful, broken world. Since we are all going to have troubles anyway, we might as well choose to go through them with Jesus. It sure beats trying to go through struggles on your own. He can give you hope for tomorrow and peace that passes your understanding. (Phil. 4:7) He can give you strength to go on. (Phil. 4:13)

It doesn’t matter what you did or who you are; it matters who you become. Every choice you make this year will determine who you are. The choices we make, make us. You are actually becoming the person your choices reflect. You can choose to be bitter, negative, depressed and totally self-absorbed about your troubles — if you do, that will determine the type of person you are this year. But you have a choice. You can be determined, strengthened, find courage and hope and grow through your troubles to be a better person in the long run. Those choices also will determine what kind of person you become.

Are you catching on? You can sit around feeling sorry for yourself over your sad circumstances or you can rise above them. You can let other people label you and look down on you, or you can look up and realize God will never discourage you. If you are a Christian, you are not dumb, depressed, divorced, etc. You are wonderfully made (Psa. 139:14) crowned with glory and honor (Psa. 8:5) and a prince or princess of a kingdom that will never end. (II Cor. 6:18) This new year can bring about new changes — any day, any moment. God is waiting on you to join Him in a glorious journey of faith. So what are you waiting for?

Get up! Praise Him! Thank Him! Seek Him! Lift your head up! Smile! Be confident in who you are because of Who is in you! (Phil. 1:6)"

Happy New Year!