Empathy

December 10, 2007 - Monday

I came into the living room as Tucker was explaining it to Trey. His friend at school, Max, had brought a picture of his friend, Spencer. Tucker doesn't know Spencer, but he explained that Spencer died because he had a problem with his head. "He was only six years old. He was still a kid," Tucker said quietly. I sat with him and asked him if Max was sad, and he nodded. Then these solemn tears began to fall down his face. He made no sound. He just wept. My almost five-year old, with his all too familiar understanding about death, wept for his friend's sadness.

After a few minutes, he said, "The tears won't stop coming." I think he was getting a little frustrated with this sadness that really belonged to someone else. I told him I understood because sometimes that happened to me. I told him that the tears would stop soon. I told him that being sad for his friend's loss was a very grown-up thing to do, that it meant he had a big heart, and that I was proud of him for feeling this way. I told him we would pray for Max and for Spencer's family, that God would help their sadness go away.

I'm amazed. I'm amazed that a child can feel empathy. A gift like this can't be learned from a book. He came with the ability to understand someone else's grief and take it on as his own. That's so powerful. It really makes me wonder where he's going to go in life.