Remember to be nice!

Keaton has been nice to Trey most of the day. Why is this surprising? Because of the way he's behaved all week.


If he needs juice or something to eat or to go potty or to brush his teeth, he needs Mommy to help him. If Trey comes to his rescue, he screams uncontrollably and yells things like "You stop it!" Sweet, huh?


I'm not sure how to handle this. On one hand, I'm always glad to step in and take care of Keaton because he's got to be driving Trey crazy with the screaming. On the other hand, me stepping in is probably part of the problem because it means Keaton gets what he wants. So I've implemented a three-prong plan of attack against Keaton's campaign against Trey and, well, pretty much everyone but me.


Prong #1: Every time we're alone I remind Keaton how much Daddy takes care of us and how nice he is. I tell him that I sure do love Daddy.


Prong #2: When Keaton specifically requests that I do a particular task for him, I make him wait. Forever. So long that when Trey offers to help he's so tired of sitting on the potty - or whatever - that he gladly accepts the offer.


Prong #3: When Keaton is rude to Trey or Tucker because he only wants to talk to me, I respond to him like he responded to his dad and brother. Then I explain to him that it doesn't feel very nice to be treated like that.


Okay, so I'm a pretty smart lady with just a little type-A inspired OCD, and I'm pretty sure that developing an intricate plan to solve a problem is the best way to approach it. I'm confident. I'm going to fix this.


Of course, the next part of this little datribe is what has gone wrong.


Prong #1 Problems: We're in the car on Wednesday on our way home from school. I had just talked to Trey on the phone. When I hang up, Keaton asks if I was talking to Daddy. I tell him that it was Daddy, and that I can't wait for Daddy to get home because I've missed him all day.


Keaton, being the random person that he is, responds, "Tucker is my favorite friend."


I'm touched. "How sweet," I think, "the boys are so lucky to have each other - brothers are a ready made best friend. I hope they're always close. I hope Tucker takes care of Keaton when he's a freshman and Tucker is a junior and Keaton has acne and likes a girl who doesn't like him back and that Tucker will help him with his homework and that Keaton will always idolize him and that Tucker will see that as a responsibility to make good choices...."


And then Keaton interrupts my plan for their high school years with a follow up to his random brotherly love: "And mommy is my favorite friend, too. But not daddy."


I explain how rude he's being, and Keaton tells me in his rational voice, "I not rude. I don't wike (some kid at school who's name I don't remember) either."


Basically his argument is that he doesn't have to like everyone. Get over it. Prong #1 is a bust.


So then I go on to prong #2. It turns out that prong #2 only causes additional screaming. Lots of screaming. Lots and lots of screaming. Screaming that usually goes like this: "MOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMY!" And then there's the obligatory "GET OUT OF HERE!! YOU STOP THAT!" when Trey comes in the room.


Prong #2 is a bust.


And finally I'm left with prong #3. Today in the car Keaton gave me the greatest opportunity to put my final attempt into play. He asked a question (I don't remember what it was) and when Tucker tried to answer him he snapped, "You stop it! I not talking to you! I talking to Mommy only!"


And then he asked me the question. To which I replied, "You stop it! I'm not talking to you because I'm only talking to Tucker."


Silence. He didn't cry. His feelings weren't hurt. He just sat there. Seemingly stunned.


So I calmly said, "That was a very ugly way to treat you, wasn't it? It doesn't feel very good. That's why I don't think you should speak that way to other people. Now what did you want to ask me?"


He asked me in a calm, sweet voice, and we moved on.


That was about eight hours ago. We haven't had another outburst from him in eight hours. Not only that, he went with Trey to the bathroom at the football game and took the toothpasted toothbrush that Trey delivered before bed.


While I'm certain prong #3 didn't solve the problem, it may have gotten us a new record for Keaton's niceness. He is a very sweet boy, sometimes he just forgets. That's his explanation anyway. Here's the story he told on the way home from school Friday (I wish I had a recording because no one can tell a story like Keaton):


"Mommy, I had one thinking spot today. It was for hitting. Blake was reading a book and Andrew tried to take that book away from him, and so I hit him!" (with a punch in the air for emphasis)


I asked, "Keaton, was that a good choice?"

He replied, "No ma'am. It was a bad choice so I had to sit in a thinking spot." Then with a sigh, "I guess I just forgot to be nice."