Book #5: Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah

My friend and boss recommended this book to me several times, but I never really took interest. Then, when it was at our church's garage sale for twenty five cents I decided I would give it a shot. The story is about a family with two very different daughters, a kind father, and a mysteriously distant mother. The father dies early in the book and leaves the sisters with the task of getting to know their mother so that they can understand her better and have a relationship with her. One moment at a time, the mother reveals her younger years to her children through fairy tales about a princess in Russia. The storyline is predictable but enjoyable. My only real complaint is that the ending was disappointing. It took the book from an interesting piece of historical fiction to a book you'd buy at a garage sale for a quarter.

I started book six of the year, The Red Tent by Anita Diamont. It is Christian fiction with a story centered around women's monthly visits to the red tent. It took me about two chapters to realize I just couldn't read a story about Bible women centered around their time of the month.  I started a John Grisham novel instead (also from the church garage sale, I might add).

Valentines Day 2013

First, I am spoiled. This simply means that my family does a very good job of making me feel loved all the time, and on Valentines Day it's even better. Every year, Trey gets up extra early and makes us breakfast. This year it was heart shaped French toast and bacon. When I woke Keaton up, I asked him if he could smell the bacon. Before he even opened his eyes, he said, "No, I small Valentines Day."

My boys also surprised me with a gift this morning. Trey said when he and Tucker were in the store he asked if Tucker had a girl he wanted to buy a Valentine for. "Yes," Tucker said, "Mom."

The sweetest thing ever, right?  The boys spent their own money on flowers and chocolates for their dear old mom.

Then, I received my annual Valentines tulips. We had tulips in our wedding, so when Trey sends me flowers that's what I get. He sends them from the same place every year, and they are always beautiful and last a long time. Only this year there was a problem. It looked like the flowers had frozen or something. We had a good laugh about them at work.  I hated to call Trey and tell him that the flowers were a bust, but I wanted him to get his money back! It truly is the thought that counts, and he remembered. I hate to expect that I'll get flowers on Valentines Day, but I would probably be disappointed if I didn't them, so he did good!

Finally, after Keaton went to bed he called me into his room. "Open my binder and look in the front pocket. You'll find something," he said. It was a sweet Valentine card he made for me today.

So let it be known that in this Hickman family, we have boys who are very good at making their wife and mother feel loved and special and appreciated. I'm grateful every day of the example Trey sets for my kids to love constantly and never keep it a secret. They'll be good husbands and dads some day because of him.

Happy Valentines Day!

Book #5: Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White by Adam Hamilton

ALERT!  Possible controversy ahead!

This is a long and risky post, but I hope you'll read it. I especially hope you'll read it if you've ever made fun of, yelled at, or wanted to yell at someone who believes differently than you on important political issues of our day. If you've ever posted something on Facebook or forwarded an email that ridiculed someone because you thinks it's ridiculous that they believe the way they do (liberal or conservative), you should read this post and this book.

Our Sunday school class decided to do a series of lessons Seeing Gray, which is what made me pick it up in the first place. I'm working on reading the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs over a year (I have 164 days left), and one of my goals this year is to read more faith-based books to grow and stretch my own faith. This book certainly accomplished that.

The premise of the book is that the world is a really gray place. Many people believe that there are only two sides to each controversial issue that faces our society today, but in actuality there is a good bit of gray and a good number of people whose understanding of Christ and Christianity make them very comfortable there.

It doesn't make them popular, though.

Early in the book, Hamilton states, "My own approach to controversial issues...is that any issue about which thinking Christians disagree likely has important truth on each side of the debate." (I would give a citation, but I'd have to look up how to cite my Kindle and I just don't want to.)

I really, really like this idea as I believe (and often say) that I live in gray. Primarily I talk about this when it comes to disciplining/helping students. A black and white approach does very little to change behavior (particularly negative behavior), so I feel like I have to be comfortable without absolutes. If you know me at all, you know that I was raised in an exceedingly conservative church (that I love), and you would also know that as an adult I like to think I'm very comfortable with questioning and struggling with just about anything. I have no trouble entertaining the possibility that I might be wrong about something or that my perspective is limited. I understand that some people see this as wishy-washy or cowardly, but I don't. In this way, I really appreciate the concept of this book.

The first section of the book deals with the ideas of liberals and conservatives. The author notes that very few people are truly either. No matter who you are, someone is likely more conservative than you; likewise, no matter how liberal you are someone is likely more liberal. He notes that on different issues we may find ourselves at different points of the liberal-conservative spectrum, and he calls for a movement in our churches to make that okay -- for people to be comfortable with the fact that they may see some issues as gray areas.

Section two primarily discusses the Bible and the opposing viewpoints of it being either the literal word of God or a message from God presented through man, including the humanity of its authors and the traditions and norms of the times in which it was written. In my upbringing, I believed that the Bible was the literal, infallible word of God. Then I took a lit class in college about the Bible, and we learned about its authors and the historical context behind it. (This is also when I learned that the Bible has some extra books that got cut before the King James Version. I was very troubled by this. Who knew?) Many of our conversations today about controversial issues truly rest in the belief system one holds about the Bible. The section has chapters about evolution, whether or not people of other religions will go to heaven, if hell exists, and why bad things happen. I loved the explanations of how science can be a part of faith instead of working against it. More people need to talk about that.

I really, really loved the chapter titled "Where is God When Bad Things Happen?" In it, the author asserts that God doesn't cause bad things to happen to teach us lessons or make us better people, but that the world and its humans are flawed, and accidents happen. God can certainly work through tragedy, but our loving God does not today single out people to harm in order to prove a point. I like that idea a whole lot.

Not surprisingly, I had the most difficulty with the section titled "Politics and Ethics in the Center." Chapters include the topics of abortion, homosexuality, war, and presidential elections.

I have a very strong feeling about abortion which I believe was truly cemented when I miscarried many years ago. I understand that other people disagree with my pro life view, but I'm not going to change my mind. I am very conservative on that issue, and I found it difficult to read both sides of the issue without wanting to argue with the book. However, I do believe that we should love and nurture those people who have been impacted by abortion and that God's grace is sufficient. I also understand that smart, educated people disagree with me and feel as strongly about their views as I do of mine. We disagree. I can be okay with that.

The homosexuality chapter was very intriguing to me because as an adult my viewpoint on this issue has developed from that of my youth. I learned as a child that homosexuality is wrong. Now I know and love many people who are gay, and I truly believe that they were born to be so. It is difficult for me to believe that these good and kind people were created with some sort of error, and so my perspective has really challenged my faith and, in my opinion, caused it to grow. I know that the more conservative of you will think I've gone all crazy liberal, and the more liberal of you will think I've committed some sort of crime for even discussing the issue as an issue. That's okay. I'm on my faith journey and you're on yours. I love you anyway, and you probably still love me, too.

The chapters on war and presidential elections were, well, a little annoying to me. I felt like the author tried to present both the far left and far right of issues in every other chapter, but in these he just presented his view and explained why he's right. I disagreed with him in many areas and did not feel "the other side" of the issues was well represented.

The bottom line of the book, and something I agree with wholeheartedly, is that Jesus is our Savior and the guide for how we should live our lives. I appreciated the author's perspective on what is non-negotiable in Christianity and what is open to interpretation and discussion and guidance by the Holy Spirit. Overall, this book challenged and stretched my faith, and I'm glad I read it.

Hamilton says of the opposing viewpoints among Christians:
"The truth is that all of the branches in this tree called Christianity are a bit defective. But each adds to the beauty of the whole. What a tragedy if we were to cut off all but one of the limbs. But what riches are to be found if we can humbly listen and learn from one another, appreciating our differences, while together seeking to follow Jesus Christ."

I know people who do not believe in God but instead believe in what they see as facts and science and common sense. I struggle with this because I love and respect these people, and sometimes I want to be mad at them for violently disagreeing with my faith, or even making fun of it indirectly. This book seeks to reconcile faith, science, common sense, and differing perspectives. I hope some of these friends of mine will, with open mind, read this book and know that Christians are not all Jerry Falwell. And maybe find a little faith along the way.

Book #4: A Paradise Called Texas by Janice Jordan Shefelman

I read this book because our fourth graders read it in Texas history with Mr. Parr. I remember last year's fourth graders talking about it, and since I have a fourth grader of my own this year I heard A LOT about it. I had to see what all the excitement was about.

The story is about Mina, a little girl (I think she's 11) who immigrates to the Texas from Germany in the 1800s. Her family purchases passage and land from a company that is starting a German settlement in Texas. The settlement turns out to be New Braunfels and then also Fredricksburg. Mina is the narrator, so this adventure is narrated by a child about the age of the kids who read the book at my school. Her family suffers great hardships and tragedy, and Mina is a brave girl who appreciates what is truly important.

I can see why the kids love it. It's a great book with adventure and such an excellent tie-in to the history of our state. If you haven't read it, you should.

(If you have read it, I'll answer your question. Yes, I cried.)

Book #3: The 19th Wife by David Ebershoff

This was a good one!

In The 19th Wife, two stories are told concurrently. The first introduced is the story of Ann Eliza Young, the 19th wife of Brigham Young (yes, THE Brigham Young who helped establish Utah as a territory, was an early leader of the Mormon church, and has a university named for him). The reader knows from the beginning that Ann Eliza is famous because of her apostasy from the LDS church and divorce from Brigham, but the story begins with that of her parents and how they came to follow Joseph Smith after knowing him personally. There is much background information regarding the beginnings of the Mormon church and Joseph's establishing himself as the church's prophet. The beginnings include the church doctrine of polygamy, including its origination in the church as a supposed holy calling from God. Clearly the author thinks polygamy is a bad idea (I'm with him on that - just ask Trey), so even the well-intentioned bright spots of the doctrine are tinged with bitterness. I felt as if I watched people being indoctrinated into a religious cult, and I totally understood why they accepted many things as fact even though they seemed far-fetched and against everything they had ever known.

Ann Eliza is a rebel whom I cheered for, but she is neither without fault nor of perfect character, which is what makes her story so compelling.

(Sidebar/Disclaimer: I love a lot of Mormons. I do not believe in their religion, but some of the most special people in the world to me (students, mostly) are Mormon. I have visited a Mormon church as a guest of my students. Nothing in this review should be considered in any way as Mormon-bashing. The church has publicly denounced polygamy, and all religions have skeletons in their closets, so please don't leave here thinking I hate Mormons. I try to make a point not to trash other people's religions, as I find it kind of rude and also ineffective in converting others to my own religion if I choose to try.)

The second story is that of Jordan Scott, a modern day young man who was cast out of a polygamous compound when he was fourteen. Jordan is the anti-Mormon: a gay, cursing, angry man who hates the church for all it has done to him. Even though the modern day compound is actually run by a religious sect known as the Firsts (it, too, is decidedly un-Mormon), Jordan is violently against all religions and finds them to be downright offensive.

Early on in the novel, he sees a news report that his mother, the 19th wife of a Firsts prophet, has been arrested for killing her husband. Even though she allowed Jordan to be thrown out like trash years before, he must go to his mother and see her one last time. That is, of course, where his adventure begins.

I thought that the two stories told together would be confusing and difficult to read, but I was wrong. It was actually refreshing because just when one story began to lull, the next chapter would switch to the other story. The connections between the two were obvious, but the stories didn't seem to be stretched just so they could be connected.

This is my favorite kind of fiction because of its historical nature, and I found myself right away wanting to research Ann Eliza Young, Brigham Young, and the Firsts. I put it off as long as possible (I didn't want to spoil the mystery of it), but finally looked it up. I found this conversation with the author to be particularly enlightening. Ann Eliza's story in the book is his fictional account of her life, but much of what he includes is from his research. To add to the non-fiction/fiction feel of the book, the author actually includes Wikipedia articles, requests for access to the LDS church's archives, and other relevant historical documents at appropriate times during the story. I found this element of Ebershoff's novel to be terribly interesting and liked it much more than I thought I would.

The only real negative is that the details after Ann Eliza's apostasy seem to drag out. While I appreciate their relevance to the novel, they could have been condensed. Her life before her escape is more exciting, and because of the chronological nature of the novel her not-as-exciting activities after she left the church made the end of the novel sort of fizzle out. Jordan's story, on the other hand, ends as a novel should, with the denouement near enough to the end that the reader is left with some level of excitement about the story. (Yes, I could have said "final outcome" instead of "denouement," but sometimes being pretentious is fun.)

The two stories in the novel certainly have a common theme. Today is the same as 100 years ago and 100 years before in that people are searching for love, acceptance, and assurance about their future after our small time on earth is over. Sadly, there are also those ready and willing to take advantage of the most desperate of us.

Overall, this book was great. I definitely recommend it!

First World Problem - Grocery Bagging

I would like to be part of a focus group that creates the curriculum for grocery bagging training. That exists, right?  

I know this is totally a first world problem, but I CANNOT stand the way my groceries are bagged. I feel my blood pressure raise with every item placed haphazardly in my environmentally friendly reusable shopping bags. Should I get this worked up about grocery bagging?  Of course not. Do I? Every. Single. Week.

First, let's establish one fact. I bring a veritable crap-ton of reusuable grocery bags with me to the store because - wait for it - I like my groceries in bags. All of them. Yes, I want the milk in a bag. Yes, I want the Gatorade in a bag. Yes, I want the 2 liter of Dr. Pepper in a bag. Even the two pack of paper towels - bag 'em up!  

See, everything that is not in a bag must be carried into my house using all of the fingers available on one hand. A gallon of milk and a six pack of Gatorade not in bags equals one trip from the car to the house. Paper towels in one hand and toilet paper in the other - one trip. Dr. Pepper...throw some Gatorade in the other hand and that's one trip, too, and probably a trip that involved me dropping the Dr. Pepper so that it will later explode all over my kitchen. 

Bottom line...just put the groceries in bags. That's why I brought them. It doesn't even cost you anything because I bring my own. Work with me here. 

Second, all of the groceries were previously living harmoniously together in my shopping cart, so there is really no need to segregate them when bagging. I know that a gallon of fat free milk and a 2 liter of Dr. Pepper seem to be on opposite ends of the food spectrum, but if you put them together into a reusable shopping bag I'm certain they won't get into a fist fight in the car on the way home, disturbing all of the other groceries. I realize that the milk is cold and the Dr. Pepper isn't, and I understand that grocery baggers have probably been trained that these two don't mix because of some long-standing family feud between the Hotties and the Coldies, but I promise it will be okay. 

In addition, I know of no purchases in the grocery store that need their own bags simply because of the department they came from. Today I brought home one large reusable bag carrying only a bottle of gummy vitamins and a bottle of hand lotion. Alone. Another bag had only one package of whole wheat pitas. The pitas could have lived harmoniously with the chips in another bag and successfully avoided smushing, while the vitamins and lotion would have gotten along nicely with the cereal. Those items did not need their own private bag for transportation from store to car to home. All of the items I buy in the store are in packages of some kind, so it's not like they're naked and touching each other anyway. 

Speaking of smushing, chips, bread, tomatoes, and pretzels should not be smushed. Period. I can see that most grocery baggers take this into consideration when bagging them by themselves or together, but when you then place that bag at the bottom of the cart and your coworker puts bags on top of it, your effort is then in vain. Another word of advice, do not put bananas and onions on top of tomatoes. Tomatoes are decidedly smushable, and onions and sweet potatoes are often the aggressors in tomato-smushing incidents.  This is common sense, people.

In closing, I often think that all prospective baggers and those who train them should follow customers home and unload their cars and put away their groceries for at least an hour or two of training. Obviously the bigger picture of the grocery bagging process is lost in their attempts to remove my groceries from their stores. 

How do I sign up for a focus group? 

Book #2: Seriously...I'm Kidding by Ellen Degeneres

Book #2 was also a $1.99 Kindle download one day last week. It was decently entertaining, and all in all probably took less than two hours to read.

This is a good book to read when you want to read but really can't focus on what you're reading (say, when you're whole family is yelling at a football game that you don't care at all about but start to care about because of all of the yelling...you can check the score, look up on replays that are monumental, and continue right where you left off).

Overall, it was fine. My life wasn't changed. I didn't laugh out loud more than once or twice. I was entertained for the most part. I'm glad I only paid $1.99 for it.

(Is it weird that some secret part of me is afraid Ellen will read this post and be offended and then we'll never be friends who hang out and I'll never be invited on her show to dance and play games and talk about my life? I hope not because I really do love Ellen.)