Monday, October 5, 2009


Today at school, my ipod was stolen. With all of my classes, plus two other teachers and their students who float in and out of my room at various times of the day, there is truly no telling from whence the culprit came.

Yes, I know the ipod should have been hidden away somewhere safe. However, its resting place next to my computer and behind my printer doesn't exactly invite people to touch it, so I left it there today just like most other days. My faith in humanity told me that no one would steal my old, beat up ipod from behind my desk. That faith, however, proved to be unfounded today when an individual decided he needed my ipod more than I.

The other teachers who come into my room feel somehow responsible for this theft, but 'tis not their responsibility. This twisted thief is solely at fault; therefore, I wish upon him a terrible hex which causes his under-active conscience to eat away at his cold, black heart well into each night, causing him many anguished hours of lost sleep whilst he tosses and turns in bedsheets lined with his own misdeeds.

I shall complete this rant with a quote from Khaled Hosseini's brilliant debut novel, The Kite Runner:

"Now, no matter what the mullah teaches, there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft...When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness...There is no act more wretched than stealing, Amir."

During first period tomorrow when I cannot listen to Ben Folds lift up his voice about how carefully Annie Waits, I will think of you, thief, with sadness. Sad that in your youth you have chosen to be a person who makes negative choices that impact others around you. Sad that you feel entitled to items you have not worked for. Sad that you have likely stolen before and likely will steal again.

My faith in humanity, however, you can never steal.


Of course. It's ME! said...

You should read this post to your students. They will feel REALLY guilty. REALLY. And it really isn't the time for iPods lately. My screen broke, Trey put his in the washer... :/

MJacoby said...

I feel horrible and angry if it was taken on my shift. I will help you get down to the bottom of this. Called some parents to no avail...but have my one suspect of course with the wrong/disconnected phone numbers that I will talk to tomorrow. There is nothing more that most of us hate than a theif. Do you mind if I use your quote as our "quote" bell ringer for tomorrow? Grrrr....I feel like saying, "I'll get you, my pretties!" All I need is the Wizard of Oz soundtrack/Wicked witch of the west song to go with my mood at the moment. said...

Yes, Morgan! Use the quote! It's one of my faves.

Mr. P said...

"Headlights crest the hill. Who will be the one forevermore?"

Love Ben Folds. Love Annie Waits. That was the song that got me hooked.