Keaton Pees.

More specifically, Keaton pees everywhere.

He was easily potty trained at the young age of 2, and for the next year and a half he had very few accidents. In fact, we were even able to let him sleep in underwear instead of a pull-up because he always woke up dry. He had mastered his bladder.

And then a few months ago he peed in the floor. I think he was playing and having fun and didn't want to stop to go to the bathroom. He got in a little trouble, but all in all it was just an accident. No big deal.

Then it kept happening. We began to recognize the familiar "Um...Mommy?" from a room away. We talked about big boys and how they pee in the potty. We spanked him. We put him in his room. We made him clean it up. Nothing mattered. He continued to just let it go where ever he stood. Mind you, this problem only occurs at home.

This weekend things got a little out of hand. First, he stood in the hallway and peed. When I heard his signature, "Um, Mommy..." I flew into action. I made him clean it up. I made him change his own clothes. I spanked him. I put him in the chair in his room and didn't let him move a muscle or even look at a toy for fifteen minutes. I tried everything I could think of all at once, and as I announced these severe punishments Keaton responded exasperatedly, "IIII knooowww." Rotten little kid.

The next day, I caught him peeing in a gift bag in the living room. That's right, he decided to branch out from just wetting his pants. Tucker had gone on an Easter egg hunt at a birthday party and used a little green gift bag to collect the eggs. Keaton saw an opportunity to pee in a gift bag and just couldn't pass it up. Tucker was laughing hysterically, of course.

Then tonight, at Tucker's baseball game, we just barely saved ourselves from an indecent exposure charge. There's a water fountain at the field that has a little drain in the ground for the water. I think you can see where this is going.

Keaton has made a new friend whose brother is also on Tucker's team. Keaton and friend had already been in trouble for playing in the water, and they were lurking a little too close to the water fountain. I turned toward them just in time to see Keaton attempting to pull out his own little water fountain. I screamed his name, and Trey jumped from the chair to tackle him before he could expose himself.

It's like he's found his superpower. He can pee anywhere at anytime in anything. Amazing!

It doesn't help that he doesn't care one bit about getting in trouble. He's that kid who knows full well that he earned his trouble and accepts it as just part of life. I am at my wits end. What can I possibly do to the little pee-er? If he were a dog, I'd kennel him. But I think that's probably frowned upon with children.