I just found out I have superpowers! Here's how I know.
We left the Bombers game tonight before they put the suckers out. But everyone was tired, and it was time to go. Apparently, my superpowers were the only solution. The boys screamed for my help all the way home. It started before we were even out of the parking lot, and I told Trey they were tired, we should just let them scream. Then I attempted my best tuned-out look. Here's how it went down:
Tucker: I JUST WANTED TO GET A SUCKER!
Keaton: I'M THIRSTY!
Tucker: I ONLY WANTED A SUCKER!
Keaton: A SUCKER? I WANTED A SUCKER, TOO!
Tucker: I'M SO THIRSTY MY THROAT IS SCRATCHING!!!!
Keaton: I JUST WANTED A SUCKER!
Tucker (clutching his throat with mock hyperventilation): I'M SO THIRSTY!!!!
Keaton: SUCKER! SUCKER! I DIDN'T GET A SUCKER!!!!
Okay, you get the point. Isn't it cute the way they take on one another's problems? It makes me happy that they are so close.
Finally, Trey pulled the car over (just like dad used to do), and asked Keaton the only appropriate question.
Trey: DO YOU WANT ME TO GET OUT OF THIS CAR AND SPANK YOU?? DO YOU???
Keaton (whimpering): no
Trey: THEN I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER THING ABOUT SUCKERS!
Then Keaton's screaming cry turned into a quiet cry. Trey pulled back onto the road and after a few quiet seconds, this:
Keaton (quietly, almost a whisper): mommy?
Me: Yes, baby?
Keaton (still whispering from the backseat in a voice everyone can hear): I really want a sucker, and we don't have any at home.
See? I can apparently make suckers and water appear out of thin air! My boys actually believe I can do this. When we got home, I found out that I can microwave two plates of chicken nuggets, open two chocolate milks, and explain to Tucker why he's not old enough for a Twitter account all at the exact same second. Again, my kids are honestly convinced I am capable of these feats, so it must be true. I must be a superhero!
I think I'll call myself "Miracle Mommy."