I love the Christmas season. We got married during the holidays partly because we love the peace and joy that comes with December and the celebration of Christ's birth.
But this year I haven't quite felt ready. I had a cold a couple of weeks ago that I killed with crazy home remedies and sheer will, but the darn thing showed up again as soon as I was out of school for Thanksgiving break. When I look at my calendar for next week and all of the times I'm booked back to back or even double booked, I can feel my blood pressure go up. I guess my focus over the Thanksgiving holiday has been getting well and getting ahead for work so I can keep all the balls in the air and not let myself get overwhelmed.
Then we had a Sunday school lesson this morning about how overly commercialized Christmas has become, and how we've allowed it to become stressful and all about stuff. Our challenge as we left class was to focus on the miracle of Christmas and to allow ourselves to be a vessel through which God can do miracles even today. To be willing to sacrifice our selfishness for that. But, honestly, I didn't leave there all fired up about Christmas. I left with a list in my head.
We came home and cleaned, the boys did homework, and we started getting out the Christmas decorations. We immediately remembered how full of joy Keaton Hickman is (when he's not mad, that is) because he was dancing and singing Christmas songs and offering to help and talking about how we needed to do things a certain way because "that's how we always do it." We were completing a task, and then Keaton stepped in and we were making memories as a family.
As each boy put out his nativity scene, Keaton wondered aloud why we didn't have advent candles at home like we do at church. "We should have those here," he said, "Then we could light them and say the prayer and everything together as a family." (I'm sure there was a little "and we could play with fire by lighting candles over and over again" in there, too.)
Tucker jumped on his idea immediately, and they began scouring the house for candles. "We need four small ones and one tall one," Tucker said. But they could only come up with a hodgepodge of four random candles made up of various shapes and sizes and colors. Finally, Trey told them we could probably pick up some candles the next time we go to the store.
It was getting late, and I needed to do our grocery shopping for the week. I decided to go to Michaels first because I needed a couple of more wreaths for the bare spot above my windows. While I was there, I picked up four votives, four votive holders, and a pretty sparkly silver candle for the boys' advent aspirations.
When I got home, they asked for the candles first thing. They placed the votives in the holders, Trey found a platter and a wreath, and we set up our very own advent candle arrangement in the middle of the dining table. Tucker pulled up the reading that goes with the first candle on two ipads so that he and Keaton could each do a part. Keaton made up some rules about how each of us would get a turn being in charge of the week's candle, but when it's your turn you can choose an assistant to help you if you want. Then he announced he would go first (it was his idea, after all), and named Tucker his assistant.
Then this happened.
Keaton read to us about how the first candle of advent symbolizes hope.
"All the promises of God are fulfilled in Jesus Christ. He is our hope, today and forever!"
Then he said (I'm not making this up), "Let us pray."
And Tucker read an advent prayer about the hope we find in Christ.
Trey and I just kind of sat there, stunned, until finally I dried my eyes enough to hug both boys and tell them how proud they make me. The whole thing was beautiful. I will never in my life forget it.
People, it was our very own little miracle of Christmas, brought to us by the not-so-little-anymore Hickmans.
Our tree isn't finished and my calendar still looks impossible, but I think I'm ready for the holidays now.
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