What follows is a simulation. It is a simulation because while I did not memorize all of Keaton's Valentine cards, I still wanted you all to get the feel for how this went down.
Trey: Keaton, which one do you want for Branson?
Keaton: What does that one say?
Trey: It says, "Hang on, Valentine."
Keaton: OH! I need to give that one to Andre because sometimes when he's ahead of me I tell him "hang on!" and he doesn't hang on, so he needs to get that Valentine so he'll hang on.
Trey: Who do you want to give this one to? It says "Be cool, Valentine."
Keaton: OH! That one is for Ella. She is so cool. She evern has cool sunglasses. (Yes, Keaton pronounces "even" with an "r" -- I'm not sure why.)
Trey: Which one do you want to give to Brittany* (*name changed to protect the innocent preschooler)
Keaton: Well, which one says "bad"? She's bad, so she needs the bad one.
Trey: That's not nice, Keaton. We don't talk that way about others.
Keaton: Well, she is bad.
Trey: Let's give her this one.
Keaton (exasperated): OOOOKAAAAYYY.
Trey: This one says "Have a seat, Valentine." Who gets it?
Keaton: OH! That needs to be Grady's. Sometimes when it's time to go to the teaching table, Grady doesn't sit down. Then Ms. Monica has to say "Have a seat, Grady," and then he sits down. So he needs this one so that he will sit down at the teaching table.
And on and on it went. Keaton managed to address behavior-appropriate Valentines for all 16 kids in his class.
As a side note, Tucker got his Valentines done all by himself in a matter of seconds, and I even made him put two extras in his bag for his secret girlfriend he won't tell me about. Of course that made him giggle and deny her existence, but nonetheless his Valentines were signed and sealed and that item was checked off his "to do" list.