One of each

Yep, I have a story from each boy this weekend.

First, Keaton. Yesterday, Keaton cut his hair. Not just a little trim, either, but a serious hair cut. He lost inches off the top, and the front of his hair was barely half an inch long. This, my baby with his handsome flowing locks, now all gone. Well, gone in chunks, anyway, because he's not particularly good at cutting hair.

I wasn't home when this happened. The story goes that Keaton was a little too quiet, so Trey went to check on him in our bathroom and found him weilding the scissors. The damage had already been done, however. Trey explained to him that he looked ridiculous and needed to go to his room.

Keaton fell apart in dispair. He sobbed, wailed in physical pain, and almost hyperventilated. He refused to look in the mirror at his hair. This went on for at least half an hour, and that's when I called. Trey explained the situation and his facisnation with how upset Keaton was about his beutiful hair being chopped to pieces.

Trey put Keaton on the phone, and what he said to me was incomprehensible. He was so broken about his hair. I've never seen or heard him so upset.

Yes, it was quite funny.

I came home, took him to Classic Cuts, and got the mess cleaned up a little. It doesn't look ridiculous, but it doesn't look like Keaton's flowing locks either. Maybe in a few weeks.

Now Tucker.

Tucker's fantasy football team is doing very well this week so far. He scored 19 points in the Thursday night with Sanantonio Holmes, and today things just got better. Most of his players had noon games, so he was going crazy. He had the stat tracker up on the computer and the Texans on the tv. He was yelling at the tv and the computer and shouting updated scores at us every thirty seconds or so. It was football season as it's best.

At some point he said to me, "Mom, I can smack talk my opponent on yahoo!"

I had seen the instant message-type link that allowed you to communicate with your opponent, but I hoped Tucker wouldn't find it (yeah, right). I explained that he really didn't need to be smack talking people he didn't know on the internet and let it go.

A little later I took a seventeen minute nap. After seventeen minutes Tucker yelled for me to wake up and Keaton climbed on top of me and kicked me in the face, so I gave up and woke up. As I walked past the computer I saw this in the "smack talk" box: "I"AM WINNING 94-36"

My first thought was that some internet stranger is about to start cussing out my six year old. I couldn't figure out how to delete the smack talk, so I took the only action a mother could take. I smack talked as well. It said this:

"FYI -- the superjacks team belongs to a six year old. I had no idea he would 'smack talk' while I was taking a nap. Yes, he's a freak about football. This is his mother."

And there you have it. Tucker saw that I posted, and I think he was a little annoyed by me, but thankfully he's too young to be humiliated.

But there's a lesson to be learned here, and I hope he learned it. If it's for his own good, I will humiliate him. It's my job as his mother, and while I may not like it, I'm not afraid to do it. So hoiw's that for smack talk?

I wonder how the guy feels that now knows he's getting killed by a six year old whose mother won't let him smack talk?