This has troubled me of late because I've been a little frazzled. I mean, take a look at the SAT essay post below and realized that those are the words of a crazy woman. Without peace (not the "world peace" variety - the personal kind) we fall into a trap of self-doubt, stress, and negativity.
But I'm a busy girl. I often comment that a good day is when you cross more things off your list than you add to it. So how in the heck am I supposed to find peace in all that?
Then today, on what is perhaps my busiest day of the year (school picture day), I had the best day. It was wonderful! I'm tired and my feet hurt, but it doesn't even matter because I had a great day. The surprise is that tonight, I feel more at peace than I have in a couple of weeks.
Welcome to the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. When I look at this list and consider which of these I have been putting into practice in the last week or two, well, I fall terribly short.
I've said things that should never be said and responded to people in an emotional, mean-spirited way. Mostly in my head and in repeating situations to Trey the way they should have gone, but that doesn't make it acceptable behavior. When the students haven't listened, I've snapped at them. My kids have frustrated me. I have found something wrong with everything.
Until today God showed me in a very basic and real way through an uneventful day at school that I have joy in my life. Not just a good day here and there, but I have actual and complete and total life-changing joy. And I've let others and myself take it away. What a waste!
Consider Isiah 61:10: I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Seriously. Now that's some joy. I mean "clothed me with garments of salvation" and "wrapped me in a robe of righteousness." That's some pretty joyful stuff. And some responsibility, too.
Add to that the fact that I love my job - really love it in an obsessive way - I have a great family, church, life. Joy should be seeping out of my eyeballs!
Today I rediscovered peace through remembering to hang on to my joy and to wear it on my face and spill it out onto every person I know. Some gentleness and temperance may help me be the one bringing others up instead of dragging them down into the muck. I have a good feeling God's going to provide those, too.
I leave you with this brilliant piece of poetry because it makes me happy. From one of those middle versus of "Amazing Grace":
"The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call'd me here below,
Will be forever mine."
2 comments:
You and Trey are inspirations to me. Have I ever told you that??! I should have. As long as I've known Trey, (a LONG time) and then when you came along, I have always seen a TRUE spirit of joy and peace. Of gentleness, goodness and faith. You have both been "fruits of joy" in the Myrick household! Who else could have chased after Katy's dog while being pregnant?! A TRUE, GOOD person! : )
i love this post, stormy! you are one wise woman, and i'm so thankful you shared your heart. i think i have lots to learn from you. :)
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