So that one time I ran a marathon...

My 2015 goal was to become a runner. I looked back at some old posts and was reminded that on April 15, 2015, I could not run more than half a mile. I was frustrated and felt ridiculous.

One year, six months, and 26 days later I ran a marathon.

What follows are random thoughts about that.

1) I was persistent that people who run marathons are crazy, and I had no desire to run one. Then I ran three half marathons, and I got the urge to push myself a little farther. This is how the impossible happens - small steps of possible push you a little further until suddenly a ridiculous thing happens. Pretty cool.

2) A friend who also ran her first marathon immediately said she wanted to do another. She got a blister that caused her to overcompensate on one side and threw off her stride for much of the race. I got the feeling that she wants to do better. I have mad respect for that. But I'm all good. My marathon was not fast (5 hours and 43 minutes), but I feel like it's exactly what I trained for. I currently have no desire to do that again. Those half marathons sure are fun, though!

3) Throughout the week leading up to the marathon, I worried about several things. What if I fell off a curb, broke my ankle, and couldn't run? What if I got a stomach bug? What if it was 90 degrees on race day? What if I did my very best and was (gasp!) last? What if I physically couldn't finish? I literally prepared for months for those 5-6 hours of my life, and I had one shot. I don't experience that often. It was a real mental effort to stop worrying about factors out of my control, and probably something I need to practice.

4) Marathons are boring. For real. There are water stations with nice people and other runners for a while, but once everyone spreads out it's just you, your running partner (more on that later), and one foot in front of the other. We decided to make it to 20 miles before putting in headphones because we knew we'd need a distraction.

I had downloaded two podcasts from TED radio hour. Wouldn't you know it! The first guest that I listened to was a researcher who believes that outside our brains the only adaptation that gives us an advantage over animals is our ability to run with endurance! That's what helped ancient people survive! Humans weren't faster or stronger that animals, but they could endure without tiring out. I laughed out loud as I listened.

The second podcast (which I didn't quite finish) was about parenting, specifically over parenting vs. letting your kids learn how to navigate the dangers of the world. I spent some time thinking about my own parents and how they raised a person who thinks she can do any absurd thing like run a marathon. I hope I'm doing that for my own kids.

5) I ran as part of Team Mercy Project, committed to raising money for the organization that works to free child slaves in Ghana. It gave a little more meaning to the time I was spending on training and obsessing. At the end of the race, giant posters lined the road with the faces of the 80 children who have already been freed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, but quickly realized that if I started crying I would stop breathing! I was fresh out of energy and air and everything else in that last stretch. Those smiling faces are a great sight after running 26.2 miles.

6) My school family is amazing. Not only did they hold a bake sale to raise money for Mercy Project and my race, but they presented me with this amazing book with photos of the kids and words of encouragement - even a poster that Trey brought to me during the race. It's overwhelming how thoughtful these people are. I made a crazy decision to run a marathon, and for months they've listened to me talk about it, plan for it, and obsess about it. Honestly, I'm sure I was a little annoying with my obsession, but rather than making me feel that way they went out of their way to send me off with well wishes and mementos. Several people even texted me during the race. I learn so much from them every day.

Also, I really had to finish knowing that 600 kids and 70 staff members would be asking me about it on Tuesday!  Ha!

It says, "Thank you, Mrs. Hickman, for showing us perseverance. From your Cardinal art students."

7) In case you didn't know, Trey Hickman is a saint. I decide to do crazy things that take up lots of time and he helps me find a way to make it happen. This goes way back to teacher certification, masters degree, that year I spent working in Austin on the weekends being an online teacher, and now a marathon. I got up too early every weekend and left to run. I woke him up, ran for hours and left him to take care of whatever was going on at home. He never once complained. He believes I can do anything and supports me no matter what I take on. He's the best.

It's been an interesting experience with my kids. As I increased mileage, they would give me a hard time and tell me they could totally do that, too. Then I hit about 20 miles and they changed their tune to decide I was nuts. When Tucker looked at the race map the night before, he said, "That's a long way. Are you sure you can do this?" (Thanks for the support, man.) After the race, Keaton said, "Wow. I was a little concerned but you did it!"

And I love that. I love that they can look back at their mom who is probably old and uncool to them and see that I can run a marathon. And if I can do that, they can do anything. Anything!

8) Finally, Erin. Erin is strong and athletic and has run eight marathons (now nine). When Erin learned a year and a half ago I wanted to run, she ran with me. She helped me train for my first half, then my second. She told me that I could run a marathon, and then she signed up with me. She sent me a training plan on August 25th, and we stuck with it. There's something about knowing that another person is waiting for you at 5:30 on a Saturday morning that makes you get out of bed. Without her, I would have given up long ago.

We ran through good days and bad days, talked every week about life and work and kids, and just persevered. We even tried to run ten miles when it was 103 degrees, but that's a story for another day!

How I feel about the fact that a person would unselfishly give up the time to help me reach this goal is hard to explain. She could have trained harder and finished faster, but instead she stayed next to me. It's kind of unremarkable for her - it's just who she is. And I am honored to be her friend. During the marathon a couple stopped us and asked if we were sisters. I told them that we've been friends long enough that we might as well be. Love you, Erin!

And that's a wrap. I ran a marathon. For real.

Tradition says that you finish your first marathon and you ring the gong!

Summer Olympics and Equity

I've been thinking a lot lately about equity. After my experiences this summer I feel even more committed to make sure that every student has the opportunity to reach his or her full potential, no matter what prior knowledge or skills they have when they walk through the door on the first day. My head is full of ideas with varying levels of possibility.

And now a little background information that I'll tie in later...

My younger son, Keaton, is a gymnast. This is not news to anyone who knows me because I am unabashedly proud of him. He's competed for two years, and he can do things that I don't think the human body should be able to do. He is ridiculously strong. When I watch him work out it makes my stomach hurt. He's at the gym three times a week for three hours at a time, all year long. He loves to practice and compete. He loves when he does well, and he's even more excited when his teammates do well. I know I'm biased, but he's a great kid. 

Enter the Summer Olympics. It occurred to me for the first time that people all over the world are watching Keaton's sport and that this is unique - something that happens only every four years. These incredible athletes are getting worldwide attention as I post this. Occasionally you can see women gymnasts competing on an obscure channel on a Saturday afternoon, but I don't know that I've ever stumbled upon men's gymnastics while flipping channels. 

In contrast, my basketball and football-playing older son watches his sports played on television constantly. These sports are always on (even if in the summer it's Canadian football). I bet you can name multiple basketball and football players off the top of your head. Can you name any male gymnasts? Could you before last week? 

And so I've found a new love and appreciation for the Olympics. The excitement and joy on Keaton's face when he watches gymnastics on prime time television is such a beautiful thing. I imagine he feels part of something bigger. More significant. Important. Like the collective gymnastics community has fans!

Back to equity (here's the connection I promised). Do our students see themselves in the examples we show them? Do we celebrate scientists and authors and historians who represent all of our students? Women and men? People of all races and religions? Can you call them by name like a true "fan"?

I've always known this is important, but tonight in my living room I experienced why. Chances are that my son won't compete in the Olympics, but he sees these athletes and his eyes sparkle. In the world of sports, he belongs. 

It's possibility. It's seeing yourself as whatever you can dream of and are willing to work hard for. That's a gift we must give our students. 

Harvard Day 7: Dr. Samuel Betances

Dr. Samuel Betances. Look him up. If you want to be inspired, follow him, watch videos of him speaking, think about his words. He was our final speaker of the Art of Leadership 2016.

First, he has cred. He told us he’s buried six brothers, citing drugs and violence as part of the environment he knew. He grew up in poverty, English wasn’t his first language, and he dropped out of high school. He was working at a hospital when a direct, kind woman started holding him accountable for his future. He speaks of her in this video:

My notes from his presentation are full of these clips of wisdom that should be on posters all over my office. And your office. And the world.

“You can't teach anybody until they give you permission to teach them; you can school them, but they may not give you permission to educate them”

“Never assume malice. Even when harmful things are done.”

“We have to stop failing students for not knowing what they haven’t been taught.”

“We don’t have students at risk. We have students with untapped potential.”

“Learn to reject rejection. The best revenge is success.”

“Words are noises that at pregnant with meaning.”

“You can’t be mad at parents for not giving what they don’t have.”

“To go from poverty to the professions, you must first cross a bridge called books."

“Every kid needs an adult that he doesn't want to disappoint with school failure.”

“Not all students in schools are  middle class, but all assessment tools are.”

“If you think you're a leader and you look back and no one is following, then maybe you're just taking a walk.”

Seriously. I’m having a hard time even summarizing all that I was inspired to think and to do after his talk. He talks about diversity and equity in a way that leaves no excuses for not educating every child in every school to the fullest.

He talks about words. I think I already wrote this in another post from another speaker, but kids need words! Think of all of the academic vocabulary we use. It can be like another language for some kids. It’s easy to say that parents need to talk to their kids more and have deeper conversations, but “You can’t be mad at parents for not giving what they don’t have.” Is it possible that the first step in breaking cycles of poverty is giving people words? Is it that simple?

I’m going to order this book, 30 Million Words: Building a Child’s Brain, on his recommendation. And I’m going to read more memoirs so I can learn from them and recommend them to others who can learn from them. And I’m going to ask kids to “authorize me to get into their business.” He advocates giving reading options as an alternative for disciplinary actions. I might even try that. I am inspired.

By far the most poignant thing he stated, and so incredibly appropriate in weeks full of racial conflicts and inequity and police murders, is this: “We have decided that some people are flags and some people are handkerchiefs. When really we are all made of cloth.”

So powerful.

He’s a diversity training consultant. He’s worked with Oprah. He’s a big deal, as he should be. I’m a little fangirl about the fact that he gave us all his email address. I wish that every educator I know could hear Dr. Betances speak, so I’m going to link a couple of the shorter videos here. You should totally watch them. I’ve watched many of them more than once. There are also keynote speeches on YouTube that are longer. Some of them are 80s and 90s, but it doesn’t matter.

Harvard Day 6, Part 2: Consultancy Protocol

My small group at AOL was the best one (Group 9 Forever!).

We met each day to review and discuss what we learned. It was always a powerful debrief, and it always deepened my understanding of the day’s topics. My group members included leaders from private, public, charter, and religious schools from all over the US and even China.

As pre-work for the institute, each participant completed a reflection on a current problem of practice and possible steps to improve the issue.

On the afternoon of day six, we met in our small groups and completed a consultancy protocol focusing individually on each person’s problem of practice. We each got 20 minutes of time directed specifically to something we were committed to work on, and the collective brain power of Group Nine was more than I could have ever hoped for in my twenty minutes.

The protocol we used is adapted from the Tuning and Consultancy Protocols and published by the Great Schools Partnership. The copy I have says I can copy it with attribution, but I do not have permission to post it online. If you’re a CSISD person, come see me.

We allocated time for an initial presentation by the focus person, clarifying and probing questions, group discussion, and then presenter response. I appreciated the ability of our group to focus on the problem at hand and to offer ideas, thoughts, and possible solutions. Many years ago I participated in a similar protocol through the Schlechty Center regarding lesson planning. I enjoyed that very much, but found that this process opens itself to a wider variety of problem solving topics.

This is another of those things I can’t wait to use with staff and colleagues. What if we used our staff development time or faculty meetings to dive deeply into problems of practice and truly focus on one issue or challenge? What if our data team meetings (which often become quick problem-solution conversations rather than true deep thinking meetings) followed an abbreviated protocol that helped us maintain focus and productivity? I think it would help all involved parties to see these meetings as more valuable and applicable.

Finally, I want to mention that we didn’t do the consultancy on the first day that we met each other. While we had only known each other five days, they were intense, powerful days of collaboration. I was incredibly comfortable sharing with my group, and I believe they would all say the same.

Earlier in the week we heard Liz City talk briefly about Meeting Wise. It just occurred to me at this moment that the protocol meets many of the guidelines for good meetings! 

It all comes together, doesn’t it!

Harvard Day 6: Leadership Case Study

The case study was awesome. Wonderful.  So cool. I loved all of the sessions, but this one was the one that I “got into” the most. Dr. Monica Higgins, Professor of Education Leadership at Harvard, led us through a case study that was out of sector, meaning it was unrelated to education. After five intense days of talking school, the time was right to discuss something not directly related.

It helps that that case study was about the disaster on Mount Everest in 1996, the same subject covered in detail in Jon Krakauer’s Into Thin Air (maybe my favorite non-fiction book). I was SO EXCITED to discuss the case in the large group and hear other people’s perspectives, and I especially loved talking about it in my small group. The result, as you can expect, is that the out of sector case study was filled with applicability to leadership in every walk of life.

We were given the case study to read ahead of time, and Dr. Higgins began our time with this question: Why did this happen? As a group we went about the business of assigning blame and defending our positions. My opinion wasn’t necessarily reflected in the majority. (Adults have personal responsibility, people!  That’s all I’ll say!) It was fun to hear why others saw it the way they did.

We talked about systematic biases, specifically overconfidence bias and sunk-cost bias. I was especially in tune to sunk-cost bias because I think in education (and maybe in all fields) we have a tendency to continue an initiative with rigid determination simply because we’ve invested so much time and energy into making it work.

The importance of creating a psychologically safe environment was also quite clear in the study. Without that safe environment, people are not emotionally able to take risks. We talk all the time about creating an atmosphere where risk-taking is valued, both for teachers and for students, but I don’t know that we talk enough about how to create the psychologically safe environment that makes it possible. Dr. Higgins has published an article on this topic, available here.

Back to the idea of case study as professional development. It was incredibly engaging, and I found the presenter talked less than the participants. There was much back and forth in the group. Since our goal was to delve into leadership, we naturally tied our responses to that topic, but the presenter was available to steer us in the right direction.

We were given a book of case studies for leaders in education. It includes several case studies and guiding questions. I would LOVE to use this with a group of school leaders. I’ve done a few searches for case studies to use with teachers, but I’ve not yet found one that is as accessible as Everest. So help me out, internet!  If you’ve used case study with your teachers (in or out of sector), please share! Here’s the book I have that’s more appropriate for principals:

Did I mention that Dr. Higgins consults for the US Department of Education and has facilitated the Everest case study with Arne Duncan and his staff? It’s that good. It was such a pleasure and honor to get to participate in it with my Art of Leadership group!

Harvard Day 5, Part 2: Data Wise

Dr. Candace Bocala talked with us about the Data Wise process on the afternoon of day 5. The Data Wise process is outlined in The Data Wise Process: A Step by Step Guide to Using Assessment Results to Improve Teaching and Learning by Kathryn Boudett. As with all of these posts, I will not go into detail about the Data Wise process because it’s not my work to share, but I do want to touch on some of the “a-ha” moments I had during the presentation.

I think it’s fair to say we’ve all looked at data. We talk about it all the time, reference it in conversations about how our schools are performing. Learning about the Data Wise process made me question how well we look at data, including what pre-conceived notions we bring to data analysis and how we may actually use data to reinforce our current thinking rather than to challenge us to question what we think. I know I’ve been in data meetings where the data reinforces what everyone already knew. The result is that all of the involved parties and their accompanying practices remain unchanged. Seems a little pointless when you think about it.

Bocala asserts that data conversations are conversations about diversity and equity. Data review should be grounded in inquiry and is a great way to get an entire team working to solve a problem together. I also greatly appreciated that Bocala references “all sources of information that give us information about student thinking and classroom instruction” as appropriate data to consider, which encompasses so much more than test scores.

We went through a process of reflection that included putting red, yellow, and green dots on the parts of a data review cycle. It was a great visual to see what parts of the process we do well and where we could improve. I’d like to use this process with teachers for other reflective conversations.

We also learned about the Ladder of Inference. This is so interesting to me because it articulates what I realized we’re missing in our data conversations. I found this great article on the ladder, and I think it would be worth your time as an educator to review it. Going through data review with the ladder in mind allows us to maintain our focus on facts and realities rather than our assumptions.

I learned about the Objectivity/Specificity Matrix. I haven’t found a clear online resource for this to link here, but if I do I’ll go back and add it. The concept is basically a way to give feedback that is specific and descriptive rather than judgmental and general.

And now for the really exciting part!  The Data Wise Project has a twitter account you can follow. Even better, you can take a free online course on Data Wise from Harvard! They have a great group of MOOCs which I’ll cover in another post, but I had to share this one here.  

We need to spend some time in our staff development talking about data, and I’m glad that I can now organize those conversations in the context of data wise. It will make us really consider what we can do to improve instruction for all kids.

Harvard Day 5, Part 1: Literacy

On the fifth day of the institute, we heard Dr. Pamela Mason discuss literacy. Dr. Mason is the director of the Language and Literacy master’s program at Harvard, and she was the person in charge of our entire institute. She’s great. Her presentation was particularly applicable to me because while I taught literacy at the high school level, I never had the privilege of teaching someone to read like the primary grade teachers in my school.

She began her presentation by asking us what we do when we read. There are some easy answers – make meaning, decode, etc., but can you really describe what happens in your brain when you’re reading?  I don’t think I’ve ever tried before, and I don’t know that I was successful. And I am a for real, hard core reader. We looked at samples of text that was all jumbled (which we could all still read, just slowly) and text that had such rich vocabulary that we could read it but had no idea what it said. Dr. Mason likened this to the way people with reading disabilities or who don’t have a good vocabulary may see text.

She discussed four pillars of literacy: phonemic awareness/oral literacy, phonics, vocabulary, fluency; and together these pillars hold up text comprehension. Writing and motivation serve as additional pillars. What most interested me was the designation of large and small problem areas, with vocabulary and comprehension in the “large problem areas” part of the diagram.

Throughout the institute, vocabulary continued to come up as vital part of literacy and learning. Mason advocates explicit instruction in vocabulary, and I questioned how much of that we do at my school. She stated that students should learn 3000-5000 academic words a year. That’s a lot!  But now more than ever I believe it’s necessary to increase students learning. Kids need words!

She asked us specific reflective questions about our schools and literacy. The questions were powerful for all school leaders, and if I can find them online published by Dr. Mason I’ll link them here. To me, they all spoke of rigor. Are we challenging kids with text and their responses to it, both in writing and orally? She also asked us to think about whether or not our kids are reading online. That’s certainly a life skill in the 21^st century as much as reading print.

My English teacher heart was happy to hear her say that we shouldn’t throw out the canon, but we should expand it, including culturally relevant texts right alongside Shakespeare. I also would like to mention that she recommend The Warmth of Other Suns as a book that was meaningful to her, and it’s now on my “to read” list.

She concluded her presentation with an excerpt from a Kofi Anon quote that I think I’d like framed in my office:

“Literacy is a bridge from misery to hope. It is a tool for daily life in modern society. It is a bulwark against poverty, and a building block of development, an essential complement to investments in roads, dams, clinics and factories. Literacy is a platform for democratization, and a vehicle for the promotion of cultural and national identity. Especially for girls and women, it is an agent of family health and nutrition. For everyone, everywhere, literacy is, along with education in general, a basic human right.... Literacy is, finally, the road to human progress and the means through which every man, woman and child can realize his or her full potential.”

Harvard Day 5, Part 1: Literacy

On the fifth day of the institute, we heard Dr. Pamela Mason discuss literacy. Dr. Mason is the director of the Language and Literacy master’s program at Harvard, and she was the person in charge of our entire institute. She’s great. Her presentation was particularly applicable to me because while I taught literacy at the high school level, I never had the privilege of teaching someone to read like the primary grade teachers in my school.

She began her presentation by asking us what we do when we read. There are some easy answers – make meaning, decode, etc., but can you really describe what happens in your brain when you’re reading?  I don’t think I’ve ever tried before, and I don’t know that I was successful. And I am a for real, hard core reader. We looked at samples of text that was all jumbled (which we could all still read, just slowly) and text that had such rich vocabulary that we could read it but had no idea what it said. Dr. Mason likened this to the way people with reading disabilities or who don’t have a good vocabulary may see text.

She discussed four pillars of literacy: phonemic awareness/oral literacy, phonics, vocabulary, fluency; and together these pillars hold up text comprehension. Writing and motivation serve as additional pillars. What most interested me was the designation of large and small problem areas, with vocabulary and comprehension in the “large problem areas” part of the diagram.

Throughout the institute, vocabulary continued to come up as vital part of literacy and learning. Mason advocates explicit instruction in vocabulary, and I questioned how much of that we do at my school. She stated that students should learn 3000-5000 academic words a year. That’s a lot!  But now more than ever I believe it’s necessary to increase students learning. Kids need words!

She asked us specific reflective questions about our schools and literacy. The questions were powerful for all school leaders, and if I can find them online published by Dr. Mason I’ll link them here. To me, they all spoke of rigor. Are we challenging kids with text and their responses to it, both in writing and orally? She also asked us to think about whether or not our kids are reading online. That’s certainly a life skill in the 21^st century as much as reading print.

My English teacher heart was happy to hear her say that we shouldn’t throw out the canon, but we should expand it, including culturally relevant texts right alongside Shakespeare. I also would like to mention that she recommend The Warmth of Other Suns as a book that was meaningful to her, and it’s now on my “to read” list.

She concluded her presentation with an excerpt from a Kofi Anon quote that I think I’d like framed in my office:

“Literacy is a bridge from misery to hope. It is a tool for daily life in modern society. It is a bulwark against poverty, and a building block of development, an essential complement to investments in roads, dams, clinics and factories. Literacy is a platform for democratization, and a vehicle for the promotion of cultural and national identity. Especially for girls and women, it is an agent of family health and nutrition. For everyone, everywhere, literacy is, along with education in general, a basic human right.... Literacy is, finally, the road to human progress and the means through which every man, woman and child can realize his or her full potential.”

Harvard Day 4, Part 2: Writing Across the Curriculum (and other stuff)

Dr. John Collins was our afternoon speaker on day four. He’s the guru of the Collins Writing Program, and spoke to us about writing across the curriculum. His program advocates four types of writing in all classrooms. I won’t detail those here, but you can get more information on his web site.

I was so interested to learn about the Yerkes-Dodson Law. Wikipedia explains it pretty well. This gist is that performance gets better with increased mental arousal, but there is a point where the arousal is too high and performance decreases. A good healthy level of stress and difficulty increases performance, but too much stress and difficulty, and learning will crash and burn. My business math class at A&M comes to mind…

Here’s a model from the Wiki article:

I’m very interested in identifying when students are at the top of the curve, and I know it will be at very different times for different kids. This speaks to appropriate rigor AND relevance at the same time. I like it.

Collins also stated “We over test and under quiz.” This left me questioning the role of formative assessment in our classrooms. Do we “quiz,” formally or informally, enough?  I always say that test scores should never surprise a teacher – the teacher should know who got it and who still has a way to go before he or she ever grades a test. But is that reflected in our practice?  It’s worth looking at.

He also spoke of the “curse of knowledge.” In other words, he believes that the longer you’ve taught something the harder it is to teach it because you lose the ability to understand why it’s hard. This reminded me of Daniel Willingham’s Why Don’t Students Like School?  I’m actually doing a 45 minute session on some of the concepts in this book at our district’s You Matter conference this fall, so Dr. Collins’s work may show up in the presentation as well!

Collins’s writing program comes with special paper that requires kids to skip lines. The main purpose for this is so that they can edit without having to recopy the whole thing. I thought of our students with dysgraphia or other difficulties with handwriting, and decided this is a great idea! His process also includes specific directions at the top of each page – called Focus Correction Areas (or FCAs)  - that he says work as a contract with the student, ensuring they know the requirements. I love that he didn’t just say that kids should write in every subject, but gave the how, both how kids should write and how teachers  should grade.

My favorite tip was a writing assignment as closure that’s something like, “What would be a great quiz question over what we covered today?” The teacher picks the best one and uses it. Then (my favorite part) you put all of the good questions in a jar at the front of the room and pull them out periodically to spiral back through content. Genius! Another tip was to take a student’s paper that meets the requirements well and copy it onto the back of all of the papers when you return them (with the name off, of course). This allows all students to have a positive “mentor”writing assignment to review and prepare for next time. Overall, his program seems very user friendly.

Sidebar: He’ll be in Houston at a couple of schools in the fall. I’m thinking of calling those schools to see if we can send a teacher or two who doesn’t teach writing but will integrate writing into the courses they do teach.

Finally, and not really related to school, I learned about a column in the New York Times called “The Ethicist.” Each installment gives a situation with an ethical dilemma. It seemed like productive fun to look these up and discuss around the dinner table. And I’d be lying if I didn’t see a great timed writing prompt for high school kids in there somewhere, too!

Harvard, Day 4, Part 1: Efficacy

I don’t even know where to start.  Dr. Jeff Howard from The Efficacy Institute was our speaker. It was inspiring to say the least. Here are my takeaways:

Dr. Howard talked about being accepted to an elite high school based on his scores on an admissions test. Then all students who were accepted were tracked into three levels. He so clearly articulated the problem with this tracking. All students who were accepted had top test scores. 

However, in the environment of the school, the lowest group was the “dumb” group. They felt it, it created animosity between the students, and it labeled them as not good enough. These high-achieving students were made to feel “less than.” If a school can make high achieving students feel this way, imagine how it can make students feel who haven’t yet reached their potential.

He contrasted that experience with his experience at Harvard. During an early student experience, the president of the university addressed his freshman class. I’m paraphrasing, but the president stated that he believed they would graduate in four years because Havard doesn’t make admission mistakes. 

Think about the contrast. One organization segregated the best-of-the-best from the worst-of-the best. The other believed in the success of all students and empowered them to work hard and learn.

He said, “People play the role you create for you them.” I loved this message so much. So much.

Dr. Howard also talked of the “Room 206” idea. He asked if any of us knew of a classroom like Room 206, where tough kids with little educational background are working and engaged and achieving. Of course, we all know classrooms like that. The point, however, is that Room 206 proves it’s possible for everyone to achieve. Knowing that, Dr. Howard challenged us to consider this: Is it moral, then, to have rooms where everyone doesn’t achieve? Think about that for a while.

Proficiency does not have a flexible definition, he says. We sell kids short when we create different levels of proficiency for them based on what we think they can do. He describes the efficacy paradigm - everyone is capable of brilliance; capabilities are built over a lifetime through the action of effective effort. He addresses Adult Proficiency. He advocates the idea of “Getting Smart” rather than being smart.

It’s Dweck 2.0.

My favorite quotes:

“Are we saying that kids who are currently failing algebra can become engineers? Damn right.”

“If you can make a change [to help all students succeed] and you don't, you have to live with the moral consequences of that.”

You need to learn more from him. This article is a great one. I wrote the word “OUCH!” in the margin more than once.  I also found this pretty long video of him speaking. I didn’t watch it all, but I skimmed it. It seems very similar to what he shared with us. It would be worth your time.

I’m going to throw in one caveat. Dr. Howard focuses his arguments primarily on test scores. I’ve realized that the environment I’m in is very unique – where test scores are a source of information but not the only measure of success.  For educators all over the country, test scores are THE thing that defines them. This saddens me, as I don’t believe student learning can be completely quantified. So while I don’t believe in giving standardized tests any more power than they already have, I think Dr. Howard’s argument still holds true. I believe that all students can learn at high levels, and that’s his over-arching message.  

Harvard Day 3, Part 2: Strategy

In the afternoon on day three, Dr. Elizabeth City spoke with us about strategy. I have to admit that I wasn’t super excited about this session because it was the afternoon and I was tired, and also (with no offense to Dr. City) talking about strategy didn’t sound like something that would keep me on the edge of my seat. Then it occurred to me that maybe I should think more about strategy, and her talk, along with the activities we completed, reinforced that idea.

The first line of my notes reads "fail forward." We heard this term often during the week, and it's my new favorite. In my school and district we've talked about the importance of failure on the path to learning, and this term articulates it perfectly. I shall now forever use the words "fail forward." You a use them, too, if you like.

We started with a rousing game of Double This, Double That.  Look it up on YouTube (I’m not linking it because I’m going use it – so if you work at my school and are reading this – DO NOT look it up. No cheating!) Then Dr. City referenced a quote from US gymnast Simone Biles: “Remember to have fun. When I’m smiling and having fun, I perform the best.”

Needless to say, I loved this teacher and this session immediately!

She discussed the concept of starting with why, and since I had participated in a book study on Simon Sinek’s work Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action, I felt that I had good background knowledge. However, when I studied the book I always kept getting back to the importance of the how and the what. I felt that if you only talk about why, then you miss lots of people who could help you reach your goals. I struggled with this throughout my book study.

My understanding of Sinek’s work was deepened greatly when Dr. City stated that if you just keep answering why questions, you’ll keep getting what questions. I found that I agree with the concept of the why being the most important, but that answering how and what isn’t in direct disagreement with that.

Why does strategy matter? It helps you move toward a vision. She also stated that if the current level of performance is satisfying your goals, then you don’t need a strategy. This allowed me to take a deep breath as I had this preconceived notion that she would suggest having a strategy for everything, which made me overwhelmed before she even began her presentation. In fact, she explicitly stated that strategy is NOT everything an organization does.

Strategy makes us prioritize, especially in the field of education where we seem to have new initiatives starting every five minutes. I’ve been working through our areas of improvement for next year and talking with our school’s leadership team about them. City’s activity of categorizing strategies and then placing initiatives beneath them seems like a very productive exercise for our young school.

She recommended a book that calls my name with its title: The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande(man, I love a checklist!), and she’s published several books herself that intrigue me, including MeetingWise and Lessons from the DataWise Project. Overall, she was an energetic speaker who caused me to think of strategy in a different way than I had before. While this didn’t appeal to the the warm and fuzzy part of my job, it was definitely a nuts and bolts, how-to-get-things- done-well learning opportunity that will make me a better school leader. Dr. City was speaking my language, and I would love to learn more from her.

In case you haven’t seen it, here’s Simon Sinek’s TED Talk on Starting With Why.

Harvard Day 3: Great Leaps and Safe Landings

Goal setting. I knew we were going to do some of that, and thought to myself, “I’m good with goal setting. I’m task oriented. Set a goal. Get it done. It’s not that hard.”

I think I realized how wrong I was on the first slide of the presentation.

We learned about what Deborah Helsing calls the “New Years Resolution Model of Change” – we say we’re going to do something like eat better or exercise, and we do it for a few weeks, and then we do it less, and then by June we can’t even remember what the goal was in the first place.

I considered goals I’ve set for myself in the last year and how determined I was to achieve them, and then I sheepishly waited for lightning to strike. I realized that something that seems unbearably important to me on one day seems like too much trouble and thus “not a big deal” on another day. The diet analogy works here…just one cookie won’t hurt…I’ll make up the calories by eating well tomorrow…before you know it you’re having ice cream for dinner again. Not that I’ve ever done that ;)

The same can be said for professional goals.

“I’m going to get into classrooms every day” until I’m staring at 100 unread emails.

“I’m going to write positive notes to 5 teachers  every  week” until it’s Friday and I haven’t written any and I’m tired and want to go home.

“I’m going to check on Kid So-and-So first thing every morning” until the buses are late for the field trip and the ice maker is leaking and a parent is on the phone waiting for me.

Helsing had us start with 3-4 goals we have. Then we had to pick one that was very meaningful to us. We wrote the goal in the context of ourselves so that barriers outside of ourselves would not get the way. She gave us the sentence stem “I am committed to getting better at…”

The process she took us through had several steps, and after each we shared with a partner. Perhaps my favorite part of the exercise was the way she stopped and gave several examples before she asked us to do anything. The examples made all the difference in my understanding of the work. I need to remember that when I’m working through professional development planning.

I don’t want to detail every part of her process because I feel like I may not do it justice and I don’t want to misrepresent her work. I will share personally that my exercise shook out like this:

I commit to observing the often small expectations on my campus. For example, we require all teachers to have a safe place and a friends and family board, but I’ve never checked to see that it’s happening. We’re going to work in August to establish some agreed upon consistency in math and language arts. I need to look for those things in classrooms or we’re wasting our time making the list in the first place.

I digressed – I was going to keep this short!

I learned about myself that the reason I don’t do a good job of looking for little things is that I’m afraid teachers will think I don’t trust them. I’ve worked hard to establish trust, and I’m afraid I will erode that if I start doing what can be perceived as “nit picking” little things. So the way I achieve my goal isn’t even about deciding to do it, but it’s rather about overcoming this worry that I will break trust and working to maintain trust even when I’m looking for small, but significant, things.

There’s lots more. We talked about our behaviors and assumptions and how to test them. I was really challenged to think about improving my practice by thinking about what barriers I’m putting in my own way. The challenge included pushing ourselves first in a way that is safe in order to enact greater change and overcome more barriers.  So powerful!

To close, Helsing wished us “great leaps and safe landings.”

I like that. 

Harvard Day 1: Part 2: Inclusion

or, as an alternate title, "There is no autistic McDonalds."

Our first speaker in the morning was Dr. William Henderson. He was incredible. All of the world's people should hear his message.

My paraphrased and hopefully accurate version of his story is this: He was a principal of a school. In his 30s he learned he was going blind. After he received the news, some people encouraged him to move on from principal-ing because some thought it would be impossible to continue without his vision. Not only did he prove them wrong, but he went on to lead one of the most inclusive schools in the country. After his retirement, they named it after him. So he's like, really awesome.

He explained that he sees his challenges just like everyone else's challenges. One thing every person has in common is that we've all been doubted because of something we can't control - age, gender, disability, etc. He inspired me to remember that when people doubt me, I have grit and determination on my side. Specifically, he said to "exude determination and grit." We were encouraged to leverage faith, family, friends, and fellowship when our work is hard and take baby steps to get a little better every day.

His description of how his reading evolved was the most fascinating to me. He described having to enlarge print so drastically that he could only keep a few words at a time on a screen, and connected that to students who spend so much mental effort decoding that meaning is lost. I thought of a lot of kids.

As educators, we don't have to know all of the answers but we have to find multiple ways to learn. We were encouraged to connect with others' struggle by recognizing the ways we struggle.

My oft mantra of "do hard things" fit right into his talk!

Dr. Henderson pointed out some realities that we must confront as school leaders. That "normalcy" is a myth. That 60% of kids in Boston juvenile detention have learning disabilities, and I imagine this is mimicked around the country; this is an educational failure, in my opinion.  That there is no autistic McDonalds; we have to prepare all students for life outside of school, and excluding them from our general education environments simply doesn't do that.

My big takeaways:
1) Some of us take better care of our cell phones than our bodies. To be an effective leader we must practice self-care.
2) If we lower our expectations for students with disabilities we are insulting them and enabling their failure. Instead we must accommodate and maintain a high standard. This reminded me of Liz Murray and Breaking Night.
3) There are multiple ways of being successful and the standard or "normal" way doesn't work for everyone.
4) There are no achievement gaps. Only opportunity gaps.
5) It's true that inclusion won't work for everyone, but it will work for most. Research shows that exclusion to specialized classes simply doesn't work. If we don't create inclusive classrooms we are deliberately going against the research.
6) Inclusion has to be everyone's job.

This post feels a bit all over the place, but I learned so many things in the short time of Dr. Henderson's talk. I know I said it already, but he is inspiring. I am so thankful that I got to learn from him!

Harvard Day 1, Part 1: "Marginalized"

Our day began with some conversation about people who are marginalized. There was a beautiful tribute to those people who were lost in the domestic terror event in Orlando a couple of weeks ago, and it included a reflection from Maya Angelou that was amazing. I’ll add more on that later.

I made a note to look up what it means to marginalize. It’s one of those words we hear so frequently that I think its meaning gets distorted or evolves into something else. To marginalize someone is “to treat someone as insignificant or peripheral.” Whoa. That kind of got to me.

We were asked to be vulnerable and share if there was ever a time when we felt marginalized. Replace marginalized with “insignificant or peripheral” and I think we’ve all been there. I shared about first moving to College Station. It’s an intellectual community, and I felt like I was the cute little girl from the small town with the too thick accent and people didn’t take me seriously. Some of that was likely my own angst and perception, but certainly not all. I remember what that has felt like at different times in my life, and I certainly didn’t like it. To be treated as insignificant was painful for me, and my experiences are nothing like so many others who experience it daily. That's good perspective. 

Then we were tasked with asking who on our campus feels marginalized. It immediately occurred to me that every teacher who feels like their opinion doesn’t matter, who feels like their job is to listen to other people solve problems and keep quiet, has felt marginalized at my school and at my previous schools. I feel guilty about that. My job as their leader is to make sure it’s abundantly clear that every person matters.  Moreover, that they matter in the context of our work and our students.  

Then I thought of our students. And our parents. I want them all to feel significant and fully part of our school community. No one should ever feel marginalized in my school family. I can commit to that.

Back to the Maya Angelou video we saw. I’m linking it at the bottom. She says such beautiful things about tragedy but also about life. I sat there – Stormy Greeson Hickman from Rice, Texas, in a classroom at Harvard, y’all – and her words beautifully articulated how I feel about this experience today. She said, “One of the things I do [when I do anything of value], I take with me every person who has ever been kind to me.”

Everyone who has ever been kind to me is here and part of this wonderful experience. I can only imagine where I can go with others to whom I am kind, even after I’m gone from this earth. And so I will be kind, no matter a person's race, culture, sexual orientation, religion. My first lesson at Harvard is the same one I learned at home from my parents and since I was a child. That’s powerful stuff. 

A Good Year

I haven't blogged since November 25, 2015. That's a long time. There are a few reasons this is so:
1) I think people might get tired of hearing about me running. I run now. It's not that special. It's still hard and rewarding and stress-relieving, but not special.
2) My kids are now old enough to not enjoy me posting every hilarious detail of their lives on my blog.
3) My job involves other people's kids, and they also wouldn't appreciate me posting every little thing that happens during my day on a blog. Also, FERPA.
4) I opened a school in the last year.

So let's visit in a little more depth about #4 because it's ridiculous. I didn't do anything.

That's not totally true because I did lots of stuff, but I didn't decide to open up a school and then single-handedly educate 500ish kids for a school year. That was the work of so many people, and I had mostly a supporting role. It makes me a little uncomfortable when it comes up that I opened a school because it feels like I'm taking way more credit than is due. Let me clear that up right now. I am well aware that if it were left to only me nothing would have happened this year like it did.

Now that it's summer, many people have asked, "How did your first year go?" I'm a bit mystified when I try to answer. It seems so trite to say, "Good. It was a good year." It was a good year. Things went well. It felt natural and right and good. Those are the best words I can come up with. Sort of undramatic, I know. It felt like home, and while that lacks drama it holds so much more.

I'll give a sidebar that our STAAR scores haven't come in yet, so if they stink I will feel completely responsible and be a little sick about it, but it will still have been a good year. I preach all the time that those numbers don't define us and they don't; I still want them to be great. 

Back to the narrative...

I decided that now is a good time to reflect on/document some things from my first year as a principal (and maybe laugh at myself a little!). Here goes:

Being a principal without a school and students is boring. For real. The joy and fulfillment I got when there were finally other people around is almost inexplicable. I know I have some real awkward, introverted tendencies, but I also now know without a doubt that I need people.

I can happily and easily speak in front of groups of people. If I ever thought I had stage fright I can be sure now that I just don't. However, I am incredibly self-conscious about other's perception of me. Specifically, any time parents are at school for something, they aren't there to see me. They want to see their kids sing and hear teachers talk about what happens in the school day. I am not ever the star of the show, and that is exactly how it should be and how I want it to be. My job is to be the introducer, the welcomer, the explainer and get out of the way. While stage fright isn't an issue, any time I am in front of a crowd I hear in the back of  my head "Hurry up and get out of the way! Never give the impression that you think this is about you!" This leads me to sometimes not be the best introducer, welcomer, and explainer. I'm working on it!

To that end, principals often have to do things that call attention to themselves. I am always game for some fun, but I am not terribly comfortable with this. For example, when we met our fund raising goal for PTO I had to kiss a snake. It made me a little sick. Not because of the snake (which was gross and icky and freaked me out), but because I had this irrational fear that I was teaching a bad lesson and that children all over the neighborhood would now go out and attempt to kiss random snakes all because I taught them it was an okay thing to do. I went out of my way to make it clear that this particular snake was a teacher's pet and that I had checked carefully to make sure it was a safe snake (I seriously said the words "safe snake" in front of the whole school) and that you should never, ever go near an animal you don't know unless you are with a responsible adult.

Have I ever mentioned that I can be obsessed about the weirdest things?

I also had to lip sync a One Direction song. When I announced to the students that I would do this if we met our goal, I sort of forgot my audience. In case you were wondering, kindergarteners don't know what lip syncing is, and they immediately thought One Direction was coming to our school. I could see it on their faces.

Uh Oh.

So I over-explained and talked about what lip syncing is and how One Direction would not be coming to school and the whole thing was quite a bust. It was like sad music played in the middle of a pep rally or something. So sad. "One Direction won't be here, but you'll have ME pretending to be them!  Won't that be awesome and fun?" Um...not really, lady. Not even close.

Can I call that a life lesson? It was for me!

I put off the whole lip syncing thing because (if I'm being totally honest) I was a little embarrassed every time I thought about it. But I'm a girl of my word, so at the end of the fourth grade talent show my office teammates and I performed our song. There were some technical difficulties with the music, and all in all it was a mostly hilarious, light-hearted thing. It was fun, and I was so glad it was done!

One day in the fall semester, we arrived at school to find it was largely without electricity. We called our operations folks, they came out and did some work, and we got a bit more power. By about ten a.m., we learned that a transformer had blown and would need to be replaced, and in the meantime we would have only 2/3 power. Some rooms didn't have lights, the air conditioning didn't work, the kitchen couldn't cook lunch...it was kind of a hot mess. After some creativity, our district electricians got the kitchen working. I had to work with the central office people to decide what to do, and I pushed to keep the kids at school. The powers-that-be agreed, and I spent the rest of the day telling everyone what an adventure we were having!  Our whole staff rallied, and kids learned all day. After school the transformer was successfully replaced. It was a win, and a true bonding experience for us all!

On the next to last day of school, which also happened to be class party day, there were tornadoes in the area right at dismissal time. That's not great.

We ducked and covered twice, the second time for about 40 minutes. I did an automated phone call to parents telling them that their kids were safe but that we were going to keep them right where they were until the storm passed. Storms don't bother me, and I'm usually the calm one when there are emergencies, so (weirdly) the day didn't really even stress me out. Once again, everyone rallied together. We had all hands on deck when we finally did dismiss in the pouring rain, and we were able to laugh at the terrible timing. The parents were especially great, trusting us to keep their kids safe and being patient. It ended up being another adventure.

If you know me at all, you know I cry at the drop of a hat. Surprisingly, I did not cry in front of the whole school this year. I didn't cry at sing-a-longs or even kindergarten graduation. This is HUGE for me. Unfortunately, it all came crashing down on the last day of school at the fourth grade program. I held it together until the very end when I recognized them as the first fourth grade class of Spring Creek Elementary.

Dude. I lost it. I tried so hard to stay composed, but my voice turned into a throaty, half weeping mess. I told them I had thought of each of them before they ever stepped foot on our campus. That they were a gift to their teachers, to me, and to each other. To go from our school and continue being a gift to those they meet. It is exactly how I feel about them, and I couldn't get through it without melting into a puddle. I suppose there are worse things.

Another item of note is the power of a group email or text with the other elementary principals. I asked LOTS of questions, and someone was always willing to give me a clear, straight answer. I never felt like my questions were silly or being judged. I was so blessed to have a group of people who were helpful and kind. I often tell staff that we're better together than by ourselves, and I was certainly better because of my colleagues.

I also learned to cut myself some slack.  I learned it's okay to know the answer, to know what my gut says, but to still need to talk it out. I am thankful for mentors who I could call any time to say, "I know what the right thing is, but I need someone else to tell me I'm not wrong." I learned that even if people really want a decision right now, sometimes the best thing to do is sleep on it, pray about it, and not rush. I think I'm much more comfortable with that now than I was at the beginning of the year.

And so our first year is done. I hope it's not wrong to say it's anti-climactic. We're all home, doing what we love, giving our best to kids. As great as this year was, I know that next year will be even better. Looking forward to year two is no less exciting than looking back at year one. I don't think I expected that. I'm ready for summer and some time off, but I am still mystified that they really pay me to do this job.

That's a good year.