These Children are Testing Me, Part One

Back when this blog started 16 years ago, I often referred to myself as the Mediocre Mommy. Mostly because I was doing my best but also raising children, which is hard. It was to remind myself that mediocre days are just fine if the kids are still alive. 

When the boys were teenagers, I mostly stopped sharing stories because it seemed like being a teenager is hard enough without your mom putting your business out in the world. Now that they are mostly grown, I feel the need to document a story or two now and then. You know, for my future grandkids.

Trey and I talked often about how we wanted to raise our kids. We knew we wouldn't be perfect, so we made sure to work hardest on the things that mattered most. We want them to be adults with faith, to take care of each other, to be good to people - especially those who need it most, and to understand they are capable of anything they set their minds to. 

These days we know we have good boys. Not perfect, but they mostly do most of the things we talked about. I'm not sure you can ask for more from young men at 19 and 21, so I'll not only take it but be incredibly proud. 

But friends, in the last week I have been challenged! 

Let's start with my itty bitty baby boy I grew in my belly and experienced all of my motherhood "lasts" with. Since he was about 15 he's talked about the tattoos he would get. My rule (maybe prayer, hope, desperate beg) is that there are no tattoos on his hands, face, or neck. What kind of mother tells her 15 year old where he can and can't get tattoos? Mediocre ones, I suppose!  I knew it would happen, so I just tried to put my influence in a place that had some hope of working.

On his 18th birthday we took him and his friends out to dinner, and after we left he texted to tell us he was on his way to get his first tattoo and he didn't want to keep it from us so he just figured he'd tell us. It's on his chest and a scripture, so I was supposed to like it. 

And I was so cool about it. I mean, SO COOL. He followed the rules. 

Then about a year ago he came home with a rose on his thigh. I found out later that his cousin got a matching one, and the rose is the flower for the month of June - birth month for him, his cousin, and my dad. That's kind of sweet, I guess. Again, I was cool. 

Along the way he has mentioned a sleeve tattoo. I tried not to comment on this too much because I knew my objections would just make it more likely and, also, he's grown. I reminded him of the rules. I figured a sleeve tattoo seemed painful and expensive and took a lot of time, so I hedged my bets and kept my mouth shut.

As a sidenote, sleeve tattoos or tattoos in general don't bother me at all. Seriously, you do you. I care not. I feel like it's not even a thing anymore, and if you want to express yourself in that way it can even be kind of awesome. 

But this is my sweet baby boy!

(read that sentence again in a despairing mom voice)

This kid started off 2025 by taking a day off of work to start his sleeve tattoo. A kid who wouldn't take a day off work unless he was legit unable to get out of bed, who doesn't like to take vacation, who works kind of compulsively. 

And that night he came over to show us. And sure enough, the kid is tatted up. On his arm. All of it. 

Yall. This sweet baby child has a sleeve tattoo. 

And I'm trying to be cool. I really don't mind it, but it's my sweet baby child!  Did I say that already? Goodness.

I'm sure I'll get used to it. The tiny sobs I feel inside are probably about something else.

Three notes about this. 

1) Tucker and Keaton are currently roommates. Keaton pays the electric bill. It's been freezing all week and we just learned that Keaton won't let Tucker turn on the heater. He may have a fancy new tattoo, but the kid is a cheap grandpa way down on the inside. 

2) As Trey and I talked about this, he reminded me of the things that we always said were important to us when raising the boys. Being tattoo-free isn't relevant to even one of them, and he followed the rules. He is so right. 

3) While I didn't exactly hope for this, people better not even think about saying anything bad about my awesome tatted up electrician kiddo. I will cut you. 

My sweet baby child is still just as sweet. Just a little more decorated. :)

An Experiment Because I am Elderly

Turns out I am elderly. Ancient. Old as the hills. I'm 47. And a half. Or maybe two-thirds. Either way.

Granny-ish.

I've reached the point in my long life where the bravest thing I can do is wear a cozy sweater to work. It's all lovely and pleasant because it's winter, but then BAM! the heat comes on and I'm legitimately afraid I might die. Picture me with my esteemed colleagues around a conference table suddenly red-faced and breathing hard, wondering if this is really the end. Wondering who else notices my distress. Pretending everything is fine when, in fact, my very insides are melting. 

I wore a sweater to Christmas Eve church, and the air conditioning was not sufficient for the crowd. I was thankful to sweet baby Jesus that I wasn't wearing socks so I could take off my shoes to place my bare feet on the cold floor to keep from passing out. Did other people notice? My brain was too molten to care. 

Screw bravery. I'll keep wearing layers.

Another thing that apparently happens when you become elderly is that you need to eat protein. PROTEIN! Every middle-aged woman's TikTok is screaming at them to eat more of it. Then more. Then MORE! It's never enough. Start your day with 30 grams of protein. Your bones or your brain or something else I can't remember really need it!

I don't know if you've ever tracked protein, but the idea of starting my day with 37 eggs and a side of pork is just not something I can get into. 

In addition, I am not a big meat eater. At any meal, the sides are my favorite. A meal of sides is like the best. At Thanksgiving I could eat only dressing and sweet potatoes and be happy until next year. I could totally do without meat. 

As a sidebar, my sister and her family are the opposite. They are meat people. Their "dinner is ready" means that they've grilled/smoked/roasted some steaks, sausage, brisket, ribs, and maybe some pork butt for dessert. We recently meal planned several times with my brother-in-law and sister, and I what I wouldn't give for a baked potato or some cornbread when I'm with those people. Her bones or brain or whatever are probably top-notch. 

(Sidebar #2: The last two paragraphs have "that's what she said" playing in my head. I'm not proud of it, but you were probably thinking it, too, so let's just call it out. Moving on.)

Anyway.

I've been on the lookout for ways to add protein to my diet. I found this recipe on TikTok for a pizza bowl that is super high in protein and looks delicious!  I decided to give it a try while I'm home to see if it's something I can take for lunch at work. There was only one problem.

Cottage cheese. It's basically the reason that the recipe is so high in protein. It also looks like toddler vomit. 

To further complicate matters, I have a self-diagnosed lactose intolerance...kind of....sometimes. Looking at yogurt makes me physically ill. Ice cream and milk have less dire consequences, but dire enough that I avoid them. Cheese, however, doesn't bother me at all. Now, scientifically this may not actually be possible, but seeing as I'm technically a doctor I'm probably right.

So, on a scale of yogurt to cheddar, where does cottage cheese fall? I mean, it has "cheese" in the name but looks disturbingly like chunky yogurt. 

However, since I started this post I have changed my mind and decided to be brave again, so I'm giving it go.

I first decided to whip the cottage cheese to make the consistency more pleasant. I have seen this on TikTok so it must be true, easy, and a fantastic idea. I tried it in the Magic Bullet, but it just moved around the container in all its chunky glory. Undeterred, I got out the blender and tried every single setting on there. Chunks. So I gave up on the aesthetics of my new dish and pressed on.

I layered cottage cheese, pizza sauce (I didn't have any so I seasoned some canned tomato sauce), pepperoni, shredded mozzarella, and leftover breakfast sausage. Baked for 16ish minutes at 375. 

And let me tell you. I am winning. 

It's delicious! And think of the possibilities!  Olives. Onions. Vegetables. I have found a new go-to lunch.

My next experiment is going to be breakfast quesadillas. I eat breakfast in my car every day when I am exactly 16 miles from where I turn onto Highway 290 (don't ask why - this is perfectly normal), so I need something portable that stays warm and has PROTEIN. 

Because I am elderly.

If you have any other recipes that I need to try, send them my way!

The end. 

Christmas in Two Hours

For the second year in a row we went to Nashville to celebrate Christmas and our anniversary. And for the second year in a row we saw the Amy Grant and Vince Gill Christmas concert at the Ryman. Trey doesn't love concerts, but he was excited to see this particular one again. It's an 80s and 90s church kid's dream, I suppose. 

During the show, I was trying to put words into what made it so special. What makes these songs from these people in this moment epitomize Christmas so well? And how can I share with everyone?

These are my thoughts:

1) Vince Gill is silly. He talked about how terrible chestnuts are and changed the words of "The Christmas Song" to cashews. During the borderline-sacred Christmas song "Grownup Christmas List," instead of singing the correct lyric (right will always win) he sang "the Titans finally win." He joked and laughed and seemed to just have fun. Like a kid at Christmas. It was contagious.

2) Veterans. During the show they turned up all the house lights and asked veterans to stand and be honored. Then they asked anyone who would not be with a family member this Christmas because that person is serving in the military to stand. Many shows and artists honor our veterans, but this hit a little different. It was a great moment.

3) Family. Vince and Amy (we're basically personal friends now so I call them that), act like two people who both love each other and like each other. They spoke about their blended family and their holidays together. One of their daughters was singing backup and another daughter came out and sang "When my Momma Prays." It's a song that Vince wrote for Amy that was originally "When my Amy Prays." As she sang I was overcome with gratitude because I have a Mom like that, and it made me want to be a mom like that. It felt like Christmas because it felt like family. 

4) Reverence. Christmas is about hope and joy and peace. Christmas carols proclaimed the joy of the season. Her song "Count Your Blessings" has never been one of my favorites, but hearing it in that moment was a reminder that we all have peace right at our fingertips if we only choose to see it. 

5) Everyone. The show ended with all the microphones turned off and the entire crowd singing "The First Noel." Everyone. I don't know how many people fit in The Ryman, but we were all worshipping together. I think (I guess I know) that some versions of Christianity these days are exclusive. I'm troubled by it. This Christmas moment was for everyone and it reminded me that Jesus is for everyone, not just those who see the world the same way I do. 

So there you go. It was Christmas in two hours. I hope that this Christmas Eve you can find time to be silly. To remember those who can't be with their families because they volunteered to be our protectors. That you get to spend time with family and share a happy memory or two of those you can't be with. That you remember not everyone sees the world the same way you do which can be beautiful.

And that your soul will be nourished with the reverence of Christmas. 

There is always, always hope and joy and peace. 

Sweet Potatoes and Advent

Today we mostly decorated for Christmas. It's also the first day of Advent. One year I wrote a post for every day of Advent, and I'm not entirely sure that's something I can commit to this year. I spend about 12 hours a week in a car commuting to work (by choice, and audiobooks are awesome!), so it's all about setting good boundaries with my time these days. Maybe I'll write again before Baby Jesus comes.

Anyway, we watched our first day of Advent church online from our bed. There was a little football game last night that you may have heard about, and it had us in bed after midnight. As we watched on TV this morning, we were reminded that the first candle of Advent is lit for hope.

Fast forward to this afternoon. I turned on a Hallmark movie to try to get myself hyped about decking the Hickman Family Halls. If you know me at all, you know I believe Hallmark movies are mostly good for heckling, not so much for entertainment. Nonetheless, I Hallmarked. I think this made Trey happy, but it mostly made me grinchier.

While setting up nativities and Santas, I was struck by how much has changed in 2024. I left the organization I worked for for 21 years. Keaton moved out, leaving us empty nesters. We (kind of) started going to a new church. All of these fundamental things in my life are the opposite of the last time I hauled the Christmas decorations out of storage. 

So I had a moment. A good cry, if you will. And bless the heart of the wonderful Trey Hickman, he sat with me right through it. 

Once I got over myself, I remembered the sermon from Church #2 last week. I should probably mention the scripture here, but honestly I don't remember it. I remember the message being over the great debate about marshmallows or pecans and brown sugar on the sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving. 

People have opinions, man. 

The point? In the end what really matters is the sweet potatoes. We can fuss and fight and argue (and be sad) about the toppings, but without the sweet potatoes we got nothin'.

I read something today that said "You can't live in gratitude and expectation. You have to pick one." I'm not sure I agree with that, but today I choose gratitude. 

And so on this first day of Advent I am thankful for the sweet potatoes. For the good guy God gave me to marry. The fun job I have with encouraging people. All the great folks I got to work with and love on over the years in my other job. That my kids live basically down the street. That Trey and I are 47 and 57 and still have all four of our parents here this holiday season. And a million billion other things. 

As Mike Greeson would say, "The Good Lord takes care of us, don't he?"

Apparently I'm co-opting the advent week of hope for gratitude. Let's call it the final week of Thanksgiving as well. I hope you have a week of gratitude ahead of you. 

(See what I did there?)

Baby Jesus is coming to save the world! And he loves every darn one of us whether we like it or not. He is the sweet potatoes!  

I love Christmas!

P.S. - The right answer is pecans and brown sugar. 

P.S.S. - This is my cardinal tree. If you ever gave me a cardinal ornament, it comes out every Christmas and I remember you with joy in my heart. 

The end. 

The World's Most Beautiful Saturday

I've been thinking lately I should write more or write again or whatever. It's a much better hobby than phone scrolling!  Last weekend in San Antonio I made some notes in my phone about things I should write about, but then I never did. Maybe they will come later.

Today is the World's Most Beautiful Saturday and my heart started out full. Sunshine, cool/tolerable weather, brunch with Mr. Hickman at a new place (La Gabriella - I had avocado toast), errands, top down on the Jeep. Life is good. 

And one of my teacher friends posted this on Facebook this morning. 

All morning as we piddled around town I thought about making sure I got there right at 1:00 so I could make a donation and get something delicious because A) I love food and B) I love kids. Around 12:30 I ran to HEB to get ingredients to make dinner, then I headed on over to Miles's bake sale, excited about an afternoon treat!  

Now, I do not know Miles or his family. I know people who know them because we live in a big small town and he went to my schools. 

(Sidebar: all CS schools were my schools but now they're not my schools but they still are but also Elgin schools are my schools and I love them all with my whole heart although it's weird to have two schools be my schools when only one school was for so long. Makes sense, right? )

Anyway.

Here's what I know about him: he was a contestant on Master Chef Junior and his was born without a portion of one arm. The idea behind the "bake sale" was to raise money for him to get a prosthetic. Sign me up, right?!?

(Sidebar #2: "Bake sale" sounds like I threw together some cupcakes in my kitchen to pay for my Girl Scouts uniform. This kid's food is gourmet amazing, but I'm not sure what else to call the even so "bake sale" it is.)

When I got there, the line was SO SO SO LONG!  Like, a line I would not have stood in normally because it was too long. But it's the World's Most Beautiful Saturday and I had nothing else to do, so I waited. 

Miles was torching creme brulees as fast as he could while people chatted and waited patiently. Around 1:20 an adult made an announcement - only blackberry cobbler and creme brulees were left, but you could leave your name and order on a sheet of paper and they would get it to you later this week. They were all but sold out twenty minutes into their fundraiser! 

Not one person left the line. 

I decided I would just take whatever they had left when I got to the front of the line or at least make a donation, but I was really hoping for some creme brulee because it's my all time favorite dessert. I inched closer to the front. 

Person after person wrote orders on the sheet of paper. Creme brulees were torched. I got closer.

A man came up from the parking lot - maybe 25-35 age range. He stopped Miles's dad and said, "He did so great on Master Chef!  I mean, he's awesome!  Can I just make a donation?" 

The dad seemed surprised, replied "of course!" and called Miles over. The man then told Miles he should keep cooking and that he hopes to see him on Master Chef someday, then handed him a hundred bucks and walked away. 

Finally I made it to the front of the line. While Miles torched my smores and classic creme brulees, I heard his mom tell someone that their oven went out twice this week with all the cooking and that the first few customers bought all of the full sized pies before 1:00! 

Y'all.

Today, on the World's Most Beautiful Saturday I was reminded that people are good. For real. A kid is working for something he wants. His family is helping. And his community showed up smiling and happy. I thought I was going to cry with overwhelming joy right there, thankful for my sunglasses to hide my tears. 

Again, I don't know these people personally, and I don't want to steal their thunder on a great event, but it absolutely made my day. Their little event was a reminder for all of us who came that in the midst of political turmoil and divisiveness we're all just people capable of showing up for one another.

It was The World's Most Beautiful Saturday. All because of a kid with a bake sale. 

P.S. - I don't know how to get money to this kid, but if I find out I will definitely share a Venmo or something. 

P.S.S. - My dessert was fantastic!

Four Years Ago

It's Spring Break! I'm not sure I've ever needed to walk away so much in my entire life. It's made me reflective. 

During the day on Friday, several people popped by to say, "Remember the time we left for spring break and never came back?"  It was four years ago.

I'm working on my superintendent certification because Trey is making me, and this week's discussion post was about how HR processes changed as a result of COVID. 

Currently I'm reading Tom Lake by Ann Patchett. It's set during COVID. 

And I'm feeling reflective about what begin that spring break four years ago. 

Things I remembered today:

1) Work meetings from my bedroom. Lots of them. I worked from home from mid-March until June. I remember a particularly tenuous situation I had to deal with remotely - that was a challenge. But mostly I remember working with the windows open and the breeze blowing and the birds singing. And Zoom calls. 

2) I remember my 43rd birthday when there was some sort of benefit on the radio with all of these country artists, and we sat outside on the patio with margaritas while the sun set and the music played. 

3) I remember worrying about people who were "high risk." For us that was our parents. We were never too worried about getting sick ourselves (not sure why), but we wanted to be so careful as to not make someone else sick. 

4) I bought ten pounds of flour at Farm Patch because no one else had flour. I can do pretty much anything if I only have flour!

5) We planned to reopen schools that fall. The way that the people I worked with collaborated to put kids first while making every attempt to keep our staff physically and mentally safe was indescribable. From the superintendent to every principal, we worked together toward the same goal and cared for each other all the while. It was the pinnacle of what leadership can and should be. 

6) When school reopened, we opened a COVID testing center for our employees from 6-8 am every day. It was difficult to get in somewhere to get tested, so we got a bunch of tests and did it ourselves. If someone woke up not feeling well we were able to give them peace of mind or send them to the doctor. I think I worked the testing center at least several days a week (memory is funny). I bet I gave over a thousand COVID tests. And I never got COVID during that time. 

7) I think it was spring break 2021 when a vaccine was available. This memory comes up now because we had a vaccination center for our people and I worked there for a bit during spring break. I also got the vaccine despite political and other disagreements about it. I never got it again. Not for any reason except I just didn't.

8) I went to two funerals in a week. Both family members lost to COVID. The world close to me forever changed. 

9) I remember a zoom with my cousins. I don't see them often because I live farther away than most. The zoom was fun. 

That was both a terrible time and beautifully simple. I remember the sentiment that we never knew how busy we were until it was all taken away, and then further realization that all the busy and the regular day-to-day drama and small-problems-made-big were mostly irrelevant. 

Instead we stopped. We just stopped. And we cared about each other and we worked together and we appreciated all of the moments. 

And we realized what we had become in our business and in our sometimes manufactured discord. And we resolved to never do that again.  

It all started four years ago.

This spring break, whether you are one of the lucky ones who actually get a break or not, I hope we all remember the minute we knew it all stopped, and then soon after when we realized most of what we were worried about didn't matter anyway because we had the people we loved and the world conspired to come together. And that's what really matters. 

Happy Spring Break!

Trust and a Mild Case of ADD

I currently have no papers to write. I'm halfway through my superintendent certification (that Trey made me sign up for) and I'm done with classes until mid-January. No papers or discussion board posts for a month.

It seems I can't help myself from writing something anyway. 

We were in a leadership meeting today at work, and our Director of Leadership did a little activity about Four Things Followers Need. We reflected on leaders who influence our behavior daily and wrote down four things that make us want to follow them. He encouraged us to think of one work person and one non-work person. My non-work person was my mom. I'm not sure I can remember all four things I wrote down, but it was along the lines of honest, acts with integrity, listens, and...something else. My work person was TP and I don't even care that it was a predictable answer from me. I wrote down passionate, knowledgeable, fun, and...something else. It was a powerful exercise!

Then our presenter revealed the "four things that followers need" and had us categorize the characteristics we had written down as one of the four things. And lo and behold they all fit. It's like he planned it!  

The first one (at least I think it was the first one) was TRUST. Of course that immediately got me thinking about automatically flushing toilets. 

In short, I don't trust 'em. 

Not for a minute. 

(In hindsight it's possible I may have a mild case of ADD, but I digress.)

Sometimes these "magic toilets" flush while you're still sitting on them. That's a unique experience at best and a shock at its worst. And if they're so dang automatically super smart, why are they flushing when I haven't even moved? 

But what's worse is when you finish and dress and then wait silently for the auto-flusher to do its thing. And wait. And wait. 

In a crowded bathroom you absolutely cannot leave the stall and hope it magically decides to flush before the next in a long line of women walks in. Because if it doesn't flush then YOU'RE the super gross non-flushing lady and everyone knows it. I mean, who doesn't flush? Toddlers and barn animals. That's it. Everyone else must ensure the entire transaction is complete every single time. 

And so you MUST wait. Sometimes you have to almost hug the stall door so that it thinks you've left. Sometimes you have to wave your arms, but not so high that they go above the stall door because who wants to be the lady dancing in the bathroom stall? 

Are these automatically flushing toilets really making our lives better? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no. 

I'm also ready to publicly admit that I, SGH, after years of battling these modern conveniences, have determined to always find the button and flush it myself. This prevents me from being the super gross non-flushing lady and the disco-stall-dancing lady, and it's worth it to me. I am a button pusher, and I am not ashamed.

And I always vigorously wash my hands. 

As a final note, in Mexico the "button" on the potties is actually a foot pedal. You step on it and never have to touch anything. If I ever pack up and move to Mexico people will think it's for the beaches or the serenity or the food. 

But it will really be for the toilets. 

PS - In case you're interested, the others of the four things followers need were stability, hope, and compassion.