Here's what's in my brain.
The world kind of sucks.
It's hard for me to say that because I believe I am an eternal optimist. I work really hard to find the good in all situations, primarily because I believe there is good in every situation because God is in control. But lately I feel inundated with the fact that the world sucks.
Politics above all else. Capitalism is bad. Socialism is bad. Christians are bad. Everyone who isn't Christian is bad. Everyone who disagrees with me is bad. Everyone who doesn't think like me is bad. No one is doing enough to fix things. All of the bad stuff is because of someone else and their wrong-ness.
On and on and on and on.
It's been kind of getting to me.
I have a tattoo of the number three on my right wrist. I had been saying I was going to get it for years, and then I finally did last year in Nashville over Christmas. My Mr. Hickman is the third, so it started there. It was a kind of re-commitment to our marriage, I suppose, as we embarked on a whole new world of empty-nesting, changes, and being brave with our lives.
Sidebar: Trey also got a tattoo that December. It says "la tormenta" - "The Storm" - and I love it!
But three is significant to me in other ways, too. I always say that I have three Hickman boys who are my world (Trey, Tucker, and Keaton), so it reminds me that family is most important in life. And reason #3 (haha) is that sometimes I need to be reminded that I am third - God, others, self. I do my best to choose to be number three, although my success rate is often debatable.
(Leave it to me to overthink something cool and possibly impulsive like getting a tattoo.)
Anyway, I walked into our sweet little Methodist church on Sunday feeling joyful. I love church with Trey, and we have a three day weekend so life was good. I had taken the fact that the world sucks and tucked it into a little box and decided not to think about it.
The sermon was about Psalm 23. The Lord is my Shepherd and all that jazz. You know it. It was familiar and comforting and fit my mood perfectly. Just happily attending church on a cold Sunday of a three day weekend.
Then it happened.
Pastor Dave wrapped it up with this point:
We all know (or at least church people do) that Psalm 23 tells us that God is our comfort in difficult times. But what about those times when life is good? What is our job when we aren't in the "valley of the shadow of death" but just out here in the world? Maybe it's our job to be comfort and safety for those who ARE in the valley.
Not just our job, but our privilege. (I added that part to the sermon in my head.)
I noticed the three on my wrist as the sermon wrapped up, and I remembered that I should be third.
And now back to where this started. The world kind of sucks right now.
I loathe and despise all things politics. This entry very deliberately takes no sides, and while some may criticize me for that it's where I am. Rather, I choose to see things this way:
When someone is hurting, it's my privilege to comfort them.
When someone is disrespected or treated poorly, it is my privilege to stand up for them.
When someone lacks opportunity, it is my privilege to help them find it.
It's not political. It's what makes me human, Christian, mom, wife, educator. But my success rate is often debatable.
In so many ways and so many areas, it feels like I can't do enough because if I were doing enough, it wouldn't still feel like the world kind of sucks.
But y'all. I can't be the Shepherd. That's not my job.
My job is to be a really good sheep. And when my fellow sheep need me, I can be there for them as an ambassador of the Shepherd. And that's not only enough, it's a privilege.
A privilege to be third.
May we all continue to get better at it.
